Answers In Question

Disclaimer: This is a very delicate time for me as a mother, being away from my children and also facing strong judgment from those who believe I deserve these circumstances. Some have even tried to diminish the legitimacy of Allah truly guiding me, but in a way, that only highlights how intricate His design is in this major test. If Allah has placed different levels of authority to witness dynamics of exposure, influence, and even corruption, then perhaps this is His way of displaying how to rely on Him alone—especially when support from others feels so distant.

As my faith deepened, I began to notice how much it offended certain people’s egos more than anything else. This is exactly how Shaytan works—he targets those vulnerable enough to allow pride, fear, or insecurity to take root, and he uses them to try to drive out anyone following Allah’s guidance and the way of the Prophet (ﷺ). There are certain people who criticize me in a confident, demanding manner, making their critiques sound broad and general as if they’re speaking about “principles,” but in truth, they are targeting me. At the same time, they avoid seeing me altogether, as if my presence has become “scary” to them.

A couple of people in particular have perpetrated against me horribly, trying to invalidate my piety and, by extension, the authenticity of my character and sincerity in learning about Allah. But no one tries to deny someone like me more than those who are truly afraid that Allah will expose them—through the truth of my character I've always delivered. Their intention to minimize what Allah sent down only exposes their desperation to suppress it. This reflects the similar struggle I had growing up as the youngest child that actually helped me grow strength in enduring my circumstances and having patience to learn. 

Being the youngest, I was often dominated by my siblings, who didn’t have much time or patience for me. They were older and busy with their teenage rebellion, and I was just the tagalong little sister—like a typical sibling “victim” in an 80s movie. But even then, I always defended them. I tried hard to keep up with our traditions and hold on to our closeness, because I didn’t want us to lose the concept of family.

My siblings and I had very different upbringings. They grew up during the years my father was still working to find financial stability, while I was born into a time when life had already become more comfortable. By the time I came along, we had moved into a bigger house, in a better city, with a better socioeconomic status. But those differences caused friction in the later years. As I grew older, I was scolded for these differences and labeled for things that weren’t even my fault—for the inherent differences I carried simply because time had separated us from sharing the same differences.

Even growing up, there was an inherent distance with my siblings. I was always portrayed as the emotional one who tagged along. Because of that, I constantly tried to prove to them that I was good for it, that I was trustworthy. My father, though strict, entrusted me on a much deeper level, and that trust became something that shaped me profoundly. So to defend this argument, what no one realized at the time was that Allah (SWT) was shaping me—slowly building me into someone capable of perseverance and trust, like a messenger in the making. 

That spunky attitude I developed from all of this followed me into my marriage. In the beginning, my husband and I had our share of hardships and differences, but my unconditional nature always carried us through. I never entered marriage with the intention of changing my husband or making him give up things for my sake. To me, that was always a taboo and unfortunately a common practice that I believe defeats the purpose of unconditional love.

During my marriage, there came a time when life started to impose real inconveniences and struggles. I needed support, but I knew my family would struggle to truly understand, and honestly, I had already been giving it all to Allah. This was the most significant time of deepening my faith. I knew that if I wanted positive, fair progress and true corrections to take place in my life, I first had to correct my prayers.

Even before that higher calling from Allah, I had always prayed daily and made special time on Fridays to worship and connect. I even refrained from listening to music on Fridays as a way to honor the blessed day. I learned a lot of patience because music was on demand. But when I decided to truly correct my prayers, I stopped rushing through them just to move on with my day. I began to take my time, staying on the ground longer, reflecting, and making dua with more depth.

It takes time for Allah to help refine and exercise the heart through dua. In reality, you’re also refining your fears, understanding that these prayers don’t bring magical results. There’s a connection that must form to understand Him first, and that means accepting that corrections and solutions don’t just happen the way we anticipate. Allah is all-encompassing, and we must trust that our prayers are sought in a manner that acknowledges His wisdom:

He tests the willingness behind our intentions, and His guidance and reward are based on our individual potential.

Our level of understanding and our willingness to understand are calculated.

Since His work is the Greatest, you are asking the One who already sets the highest bar of expectations. He’s not going to give to you according to societal standards, because reaching for Him requires spiritual accountability. Allah will guide you to refine your heart and understanding so that you grow in His realm, in proportion to your willingness to learn. Since the essence of the Qur’an is designed to protect us from the influences of Shaytan, Allah lets you learn how and why you need to build that security within yourself.

As I practiced this, I realized how much patience, trust, and perseverance Allah was cultivating in me. My prayers were not made in a dramatic or selfish manner; they were realistic and sincere. I wasn’t asking for fantasy or fairy tale. I was asking for help to rectify my matters in a fair way. And though at the time I didn’t fully recognize that I was being tested, I can see now how Allah was designing those stages of my life to strengthen me for what was to come.

Surah At-Tur
By the Mount;
And by a Book Inscribed
In parchment unrolled.
And by the frequented house (Al-Bait-ul-Ma'mur);
And by the roof raised high (i.e. the heaven);
And by the sea kept filled (or it will be fire kindled on the Day of Resurrection).
Verily, the Torment of your Lord will surely come to pass.
There is none that can avert it.
On the Day when the heaven will shake with a dreadful shaking,
And the mountains will move away with a (horrible) movement.
Then woe that Day to the beliers
Who are playing in falsehood.
The Day when they will be pushed down by force to the Fire of Hell, with a horrible, forceful pushing.
This is the Fire which you used to belie.
Is this magic, or do you not see?
Burn therein; then be patient or impatient—it is the same for you. You are only being recompensed for what you used to do.
Verily, the Muttaqun (the pious) will be in Gardens and Delight,
Enjoying in that which their Lord has bestowed on them, and (the fact that) their Lord saved them from the torment of the blazing Fire.
"Eat and drink with happiness because of what you used to do."
They will recline (with ease) on thrones arranged in ranks. And We shall marry them to Hur (fair females) with wide, lovely eyes.
And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in Faith—to them shall We join their offspring, and We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in anything. Every person is a pledge for that which he has earned.
And We shall provide them with fruit and meat such as they desire.
There they shall pass from hand to hand a cup, free from any evil, and free from sin.
And there will circulate among them boy-servants of theirs, to serve them as if they were preserved pearls.
And some of them draw near to others, questioning one another.
Saying: "Aforetime, we were afraid with our families (from the punishment of Allah).
But Allah has been gracious to us, and has saved us from the torment of the Fire.
Verily, We used to invoke Him before. Verily, He is Al-Barr (the Most Subtle, Kind, Courteous, and Generous), the Most Merciful."
Therefore, remind (men) by the Qur’an, and by the Grace of your Lord, you are neither a soothsayer, nor a madman.
Or do they say: "(Muhammad) is a poet! We await for him some calamity by time!"
Say (O Muhammad): "Wait! I am with you among the waiters!"
Do their minds command them this (i.e. to tell a lie against you), or are they people transgressing all bounds?
Or do they say: "He (Muhammad) has forged it (this Qur’an)?" Nay! They believe not!
Let them then produce a recital like unto it if they are truthful.
Were they created by nothing? Or were they themselves the creators?
Or did they create the heavens and the earth? Nay, but they have no firm Belief.
Or are with them the treasures of your Lord? Or are they the tyrants with the authority to do as they like?
Or have they a ladder (to heaven) by means of which they listen? Then let their listener produce some manifest proof.
Or has He (Allah) only daughters and you have sons?
Or is it that you ask a wage from them so that they are heavily burdened with debt?
Or that the Ghaib (unseen) is with them, and they write it down?
Or do they intend a plot? But those who disbelieve are themselves plotted against!
Or have they an ilah (a god) other than Allah? Glorified be Allah from all that they associate with Him.
And if they were to see a piece of the heaven falling down, they would say: "Clouds gathered in heaps!"
So leave them alone till they meet their Day in which they will sink into a fainting (with horror).
The Day when their plotting shall not avail them at all, nor will they be helped.
And verily, for those who do wrong, there is another punishment before this; but most of them know not.
So wait patiently (O Muhammad) for the Decision of your Lord, for verily, you are under Our Eyes; and glorify the Praises of your Lord when you get up from sleep.
And in the night-time also glorify His praises—and at the setting of the stars.

Surah Al Qalam
Nun. By the pen and what the (angels) write.
You (O Muhammad) are not, by the Grace of your Lord, a madman.
And verily, for you (O Muhammad) will be an endless reward.
And verily, you (O Muhammad) are on an exalted standard of character.
You will see, and they will see,
Which of you is afflicted with madness.
Verily, your Lord is the Best Knower of him who has gone astray from His Path, and He is the Best Knower of those who are guided.
So obey not the deniers.
They wish that you should compromise (in religion out of courtesy) with them, so they (too) would compromise with you.
And obey not everyone who swears much, and is considered worthless,
A slanderer, going about with calumnies,
Hinderer of the good, transgressor, sinful,
Cruel, moreover base,
(He was so) because he had wealth and children.
When Our Verses are recited to him, he says: "Tales of the ancients!"
We shall brand him over the nose!
Verily, We have tried them as We tried the people of the garden, when they swore to pluck the fruits of the (garden) in the morning,
Without saying: Insha’Allah (if Allah wills).
Then there passed by on the (garden) something (fire) from your Lord at night and burnt it while they were asleep.
So the (garden) became black by the morning, like a pitch dark night (in complete ruins).
Then they called out one to another as soon as the morning broke,
Saying: "Go to your tilth in the morning, if you would pluck the fruits."
So they departed, conversing in secret low tones (saying),
"No poor person shall enter upon you into it today."
And they went in the morning with strong intention, thinking that they have power (to prevent the poor from taking anything).
But when they saw the (garden), they said: "Verily, we have gone astray,"
(Nay!) Indeed we are deprived!
The best among them said: "Did I not tell you: why do you not glorify (Allah)?"
They said: "Glory to Our Lord! Verily, we have been Zalimun (wrongdoers)."
Then they turned one against another, blaming.
They said: "Woe to us! Verily, we were Taghun (transgressors and disobedient).
We hope that our Lord will give us in exchange a better (garden) than this. Truly, we turn to our Lord."
Such is the punishment (in this life), but truly, the punishment of the Hereafter is greater if they but knew.
Verily, for the Muttaqun (pious and righteous), are Gardens of delight (Paradise) with their Lord.
Shall We then treat the Muslims like the Mujrimun (criminals)?
What is the matter with you? How do you judge?
Or have you a Book through which you learn,
That you shall have all that you choose?
Or have you oaths from Us, reaching to the Day of Resurrection that yours will be what you judge?
Ask them, which of them will stand surety for that!
Or have they "partners"? Then let them bring their "partners" if they are truthful!
The Day when the shin shall be laid bare, and they shall be called to prostrate themselves (to Allah), but they shall not be able to do so.
Their eyes will be cast down, and ignominy will cover them; they used to be called to prostrate themselves (offer prayers), while they were healthy and good (in the life of the world, but they did not).
Then leave Me Alone with such as belie this Qur'an. We shall punish them gradually from directions they perceive not.
And I will grant them a respite. Verily, My Plan is strong.
Or is it that you (O Muhammad) ask them a wage, so that they are heavily burdened with debt?
Or that the Ghaib (unseen) is with them, and they write it down?
So wait with patience for the Decision of your Lord, and be not like the Companion of the Fish (i.e. Yunus), when he cried out (to Us) while he was in deep sorrow.
Had not a Grace from his Lord reached him, he would indeed have been cast out onto the naked shore, while he was to be blamed.
But his Lord chose him and made him of the righteous.
And verily, those who disbelieve would almost make you slip with their eyes through hatred when they hear the Reminder (the Qur'an), and they say: "Verily, he (Muhammad) is a madman!"
But it is nothing else than a Reminder to all the 'Alamin (mankind, jinn and all that exists).