Nurturing Growth and Mindful Intentions

In modern society, we often lose sight of our historical context as Muslims, even as we all share the fundamental need for unity, inclusion, and peace. Whether we live within limitations or push beyond our boundaries, social norms play a central role in our lives, challenging both our limits and boundaries. At times, we may find ourselves in situations that promote unity and peace but simultaneously challenge our moral compass. At times, this can lead us into environments that contradict our core values, as we become preoccupied with the present and easily overwhelmed by minor disruptions.

As society continually evolves, our moral virtue is tested by the need to remove the obstacles that hinder the intuitive, spiritual path Allah (swt) intends for us. So, with all the diversity and division, how can we, as a Muslim society, define this silent breach in an era marked by constant urgency and its diverse manifestations?

When we give voice to topics that are insignificant or irrelevant, it can distract us and others from what’s important. This can include gossip, superficial concerns, or controversies that have no real impact on our spiritual or moral growth. Conversely, remaining silent when we should be speaking up—on matters of justice, truth, or moral responsibility—can be damaging as well.  For friends and families, it can create misunderstandings or distance, as people may not express their true selves. 

Our social conditioning often leads us to accept the first definition that others agree on without question. In doing so, we lose sight of true problem-solving by jumping to our own conclusions. It’s much easier to address the symptoms than to uncover the underlying issue because this default mode encourages us to react rather than reason, in an effort to contribute positively to the matter. 

Throughout the Quran, Allah (swt) consistently presents the problem and follows it with the correct solution. The problem describes the example of a spiritual block, while the solution is the straight path we ask for in Surah Al-Fatiha, Sirat Al Mustaqeem. 

In Surah Al Noor, Allah (swt) conveys this verse with caution “When you received it with your tongues and said with your mouths that of which you had no knowledge and thought it was insignificant while it was, in the sight of Allah, tremendous.”

The next verse follows with the solution:  “And why, when you heard it, did you not say, "It is not for us to speak of this. Exalted are You, [O Allah ]; this is a great slander?”  

We choose what we wish to contribute our thoughts to and participate in discussions with integrity. However, the fear of mistrust within these conversational groups often compels us to keep up with the dialogue, even by speaking against our withheld truths that we are supposed to value. This creates a strange form of trust that we feel obligated to maintain in order to stay within these social circles. 

This behavior described can be referred to as conformity, particularly social conformity. This term captures the tendency of individuals that adjust their behavior, speech, or beliefs to align with those of a group, often due to social pressure or fear of exclusion.

In Surah Al-Isra, Allah (swt) instructs us: “And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart - about all those [one] will be questioned.”

The effects of social conformity in society can include the suppression of true thoughts and feelings, leading to inner conflict or a lack of authenticity. When we feel compelled to speak against our true beliefs or stay silent on important matters, we risk compromising our spiritual integrity and the moral values Allah has entrusted to us. Every word we speak is accounted for, especially when we are conscious of its meaning and intent.

From an intuitive perspective, this involvement can cloud important decisions, making it difficult to identify genuine concerns or meaningful insights. All goodness comes from pure intentions, whereas everything contrary to good is born from opposing intentions. So engaging in insincere dialogue can cause stress and a sense of disconnection from one's inherent values. When we promote such dialogue it can hinder progress and perpetuate stereotypes or misconceptions, and the people involved may fear challenging the popular opinion that can circulate due to fear of social exclusion.

In Surah Al Nisa, Allah conveys: “ Indeed, We have revealed to you, [O Muhammad], the Book in truth so you may judge between the people by that which Allah has shown you. And do not be for the deceitful an advocate.”

A relevant hadith that speaks to the importance of avoiding unnecessary or harmful speech, is narrated by Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him):

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent" (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim).

As much as we value relationships that foster unity, inclusion, and peace, it is imperative for us to practice spiritual integrity and surround ourselves with those who uphold the right moral virtues, such as trust and fairness. Our goal should be to embody pure intentions and, in turn, promote peace.

In Surah Al Hajurat, Allah (swt) verse instills:  “The believers are but brothers, so make settlement between your brothers. And fear Allah that you may receive mercy. “

It can be incredibly challenging to avoid social situations that involve unnecessary dialogue, such as gossip, but this is the moral test of looking out for ourselves while practicing the task of self-accountability.  Allah (swt) has shared many lessons about the importance of guarding our speech and the reasons behind it. While some of these reasons are clear, others remain hidden from us. 

In Surah Al-Mujadila verse 11, Allah encourages us to make space—both physically and spiritually—even if it takes us out of our comfort zone. This verse spiritually instructs us to rid ourselves of ego by being willing to stand for others and it protects us from arrogance through the pursuit of knowledge:

"O, you who have believed, when you are told, "Space yourselves" in assemblies, then make space; Allah will make space for you. And when you are told, "Arise," then arise; Allah will raise those who have believed among you and those who were given knowledge, by degrees. And Allah is Acquainted with what you do."

Our intentions guide our journey, just as Allah (swt) has given us life and the Quran as essential sources of knowledge. By embracing the responsibilities He has entrusted to us, we, as His servants, come to know ourselves better through our intentions, and Allah increases our knowledge accordingly.

"So he began (the search) with their baggage, before (he came to) the baggage of his brother: at length he brought it out of his brother's baggage. Thus did We plan for Joseph. He could not take his brother by the law of the king except that Allah willed it (so). We raise to degrees (of wisdom) whom We please: but over all endued with knowledge is one, the All-Knowing."
Surah Yousef :76

Disclaimer: Sharing this topic serves as a reminder to learn from past mistakes and encourages others to take heed and grow in their own journeys. We all have room for improvement, and sharing these reflections is part of the process of striving for betterment.