Society and Self: The Art of Resilience Across Life's Phases

Life is full of phases, each shaping us in ways we may not fully comprehend. With every phase comes a depth of choices and decisions. Some we make with time on our side, while others are driven by the urgency of the moment. In this context, many individuals operate under the belief that merely wishing for something grants them the right to it, or that pursuing benefits does not necessitate a willingness to give back. These expectations, often rooted in a visual of superficial preferences, can lead us to create significant imbalances in how we perceive life's fairness, growth, and responsibility.

When we step back and reflect on the fleeting nature of life, it forces us to reconsider these assumptions. Whether we’re hearing news of wars, witnessing fatal accidents or illnesses, or simply living long enough to see the inevitable cycles of life unfold, these realities remind us that nothing is permanent. Leaving us with a record of our emotions and the aspirations we have for the future. In the midst of all this, Allah (swt) calls on us to build resilience—a strength grounded in our faith that rises above the vulnerabilities of our environment, societal pressures, and personal struggles. No matter where we are in life, this resilience becomes an anchor, reminding us that with Allah's guidance, we have the ability to endure and grow through life's challenges.

However, the world around us tends to place excessive value on material possessions or social status. In this realm, the pursuit of external validation can place immense pressure on one's mental health, as we often focus on maintaining a carefully constructed image, unaware of the toll it takes on our inner peace. This performative behavior can lead to a rift between one's public image and true self.  Which causes a dissonance that negatively impacts our mental well-being, as the gap between our external expectations and internal reality challenges our confidence. 

As society progresses, the social default has shifted. We’ve internalized standards that don’t hold much substance anymore to a point where we are losing the perseverance to "own" in life, not just in terms of wealth, but also in moral standards, values, and character. Status has become a key factor in determining how we treat others, leading relationships to feel increasingly transactional, with trust often reduced to something conditional. This behavior stems from a conditioning that drives us to compete in the social hierarchy, constantly assessing our rank. As a result, our sense of community has weakened, leading to greater disconnection.  We start to reflect on the motives behind our contributions to society. Are we seeking validation or offering compassion? In either case, we may never fully know the truth of any matter, even though our connections depend on trust. This form of trust isn’t about perfection or deliverance; it’s about our fundamental desire for meaningful experiences and genuine relationships.

Trustworthy people show up without hidden agendas or ulterior motives. They are transparent in their actions and words. In its purest form, trust means you can comfortably be yourself, not influenced by how you will be perceived, but driven by a sense of truth. The emphasis on appearances has led to a decline of this genuine trust and lack of authenticity in relationships. The give-and-take of relationships, which requires both faith and vulnerability, is decreasing. We’re more likely to retreat into ourselves, cautious and guarded, out of fear of betrayal or disappointment. 

Culturally, we’re facing a significant shift. The data of culture is no longer derived from deeply held beliefs and virtues shaped by experience and reason. Instead, we are witnessing a global clash — a collision of worldwide society fueled by digital unity. What was once diverse and respectful exchanges of ideas and values has become a discord of conflicting ideologies. It’s like a tree riddled with carpenter ants, appearing sturdy and rooted from the outside, but hollow within. The appearance looks strong, but there is no depth or substance holding it up. Instead of drawing wisdom from religion, culture, and shared human experiences, society is now asking us to derive meaning from our collective unhappiness.

We are told to "live life to the fullest," but this phrase has been emptied of true meaning. It no longer encourages us to live with purpose, intention, or connection to something greater than ourselves. Instead, it has become a justification for indulgence, avoidance, and escapism. We are bombarded with messages that tell us not to care about our problems — to swipe our credit cards, pop a pill, or distract ourselves with entertainment, or gossip, rather than engage with the hard, messy work of living with integrity. Who has the patience for such tedious issues, we are told, when we can buy a quick fix and move on?

These messages can flood our minds if we allow it, making us second-guess who we are and what we should be doing. We are led to believe that society knows best, but the truth is, society has no idea what we’re really dealing with in our individual lives. The standards we are asked to meet are not tailored to our experiences, our struggles, or our faith. Instead, they are shallow solutions to deep problems, quick fixes to long-term needs. But real growth, real trust, and fulfillment don’t come from quick fixes. By "real," I don’t mean the street slang version where being real is about having an attitude, bluntly stating the truth, and feeling entitled to declare our own authenticity. I’m talking about being real in the sense of being comfortable, reachable, genuine, and centered with compassion and respect. This kind of realness isn’t loud or boastful—it’s grounded, humble, and quietly confident in its own authenticity.  Reaching that point comes from persistence, patience, and a deep conviction that we’re meant for more than the shallow distractions the world presents to us.

Resilience isn’t achieved by a single decision, but by the choices we make at every turn. Even in the smallest actions, our decisions shape the moral code we live by, reinforcing what we instinctively know is right for us. It’s a process of conditioning ourselves to follow this inner truth, without letting hasty or impulsive choices take over. When we persevere with the patience Allah guides us toward, we learn to "own" our path rather than simply borrow from temporary solutions. True resilience comes when we recognize that our values are as unique as our genes, formed through experiences and insights no one else can replicate. Each person’s journey is singular, shaped by the lessons only they have encountered.

So as we contribute to society in ways we may not fully recognize—regardless of our roles—it becomes increasingly vital to ground ourselves in trust. Trust in Allah (swt), in our values, and in our capacity to handle life's complexities with sincerity and purpose. It does not imply that we will achieve perfection or remain free from doubt or challenging circumstances. Instead, it means that we approach life with integrity and authenticity, allowing us to recognize that trust is central to learning and growth. This type of truth can hold a greater value than any superficial label society assigns to resilience.

"And, (O Muhammad) set thy purpose resolutely for religion, as a man by nature upright, and be not of those who ascribe partners (to Allah)"

"So rely upon Allah ; indeed, you are upon the clear truth."