Spill the Beam

Conveying a message that compels belief in the unseen is the contradictive debate that people don't realize is hidden in plain sight. It's the quiet resistance to surrender — not because the truth isn’t there, but because they’ve already decided to reject the essence of what a personal visionary belief looks like.

Satan knows exactly how to distract the vulnerably compelled listener. He places a pog — a weight — of ego over the soul, blocking it from receiving the message unless it comes with visual proof. That’s why the metaphor of the ego becomes the tool to fabricate conditions for belief — to discredit the messenger, to question the legitimacy of the message, and to deem it all invalid before it’s even understood.

This type of rejection is obvious. Especially when someone like me — who has been trusted, relied on, and genuinely consistent (not for show) — is treated like a fraud. It’s a painful contradiction. Authority, in their intelligence, can recognize the truth of my character. They can see the clarity — but instead of acknowledging it, they cling to the title that documents me as a suspect.

But even that was Allah’s blessing in disguise — because through their misperception, they were brought into my home to find out the truth. Their intention to use their resources got tested. And tested. And tested again. Until they learned that I’ve been unnecessarily hated for no reason — throughout my life and relationships. My ability to protect myself, to handle things responsibly, even that got me in “trouble.” Because the assumption is that if I didn’t have to work, it must mean I’m lazy, greedy, and only care about money.

But that’s not what was happening.

I embraced all my matters. I never made money the goal — and spiritually, that was Allah guiding my intentions. If my husband paid, it wasn’t because I forced him — it was because Allah allowed it through what I earned in sincerity. That man wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want to do — and I should’ve taken it seriously when he said he never planned to get married before me. But we still lived and learned from eachother and had beautiful children that Allah blessed us with, Alhamduillah.

So what they saw — my authentic character — stayed under Allah’s watch. And because they couldn’t categorize it, they mistook it. They called me “bougie” — not realizing they're inherently ignoring my sincerity. 

They try to wash their hands of me — to treat me like a burden — when in reality, justice will expose the truth: that I wasn’t faking Allah’s guidance. That the signs He placed in my life, and the way I “decode” His metaphors through the Quran, were guiding me to uncover all the shady business happening behind the scenes.

And that's where Surah Al-‘Ankabut, verse 13 hits:

“And they will surely carry their own burdens, and [other] burdens besides their own, and they will surely be questioned about what they used to fabricate.”

It’s ironic — the same people who think they’re working in balance and fairness will be exposed for how much fabrication they allowed. Just to maintain their version of “peace.” But when the clock hits 5pm, it’s like: “Psh, I’m done for the day.” They forget that Allah never clocks out.

…and Allah didn’t just make me walk out of my marriage with nothing for no reason. That wasn’t a loss — it was a message. A divine statement. A direct sign to the FBI, to every authority that had witnessed the deceitful nature working against me. Allah was showing them — and me — that this life isn't about money.

Because if I had walked out with “my cut,” it would’ve looked fair on paper. But it would’ve meant I walked out with no leverage to expose the real injustice buried in that house. Allah withheld what the world counts as compensation to prepare something far greater — proof. Proof that I don’t operate on material motives. That my walk was not for revenge, but for peace. That I don’t move out of greed, and that I would never jeopardize my life, children and husband of 15+ years. 

And the irony? They disguised my life that was already in disguise.  But in doing that, they gave Allah more reason to turn the light on what they tried to hide. They stripped me of worldly “leverage,” but in reality, they gave me the higher ground — because now the narrative can't be spun--I was already dealing with a weaved web. So I didn’t leave with bitterness or desperation- I left with the same trust in Allah I always had. 

How else was I supposed to know that the blessing in disguise turned out to cause more deceit--in plain sight. 

Surah Taha | Verses 36–56
Translation: Muhsin Khan

(Allah) said: "Indeed, your request is granted, O Musa (Moses)!
"And indeed We conferred a favour on you another time (before).
"When We inspired your mother with that which We inspired.
Saying: 'Put him (the child) into the Tabut (a box or a case or a chest) and put it into the river (Nile), then the river shall cast it up on the bank, and there, an enemy of Mine and an enemy of his shall take him.' And I endured you with love from Me, in order that you may be brought up under My Eye,
"When your sister went and said: 'Shall I show you one who will nurse him?' So We restored you to your mother, that she might cool her eyes and she should not grieve. Then you did kill a man, but We saved you from great distress and tried you with a heavy trial. Then you stayed a number of years with the people of Madyan. Then you came here according to the fixed term which I ordained (for you), O Musa (Moses)!
"And I have Istana’tuka (chosen you) for Myself.
"Go you and your brother with My Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.), and do not, you both, slacken and become weak in My Remembrance.
"Go, both of you, to Fir'aun (Pharaoh), verily, he has transgressed all bounds (in disbelief and disobedience, and has behaved as an arrogant, and as a tyrant).
"And speak to him mildly, perhaps he may accept admonition or fear Allah."
They said: "Our Lord! Verily, we fear lest he should hasten to punish us or lest he should transgress (all bounds against us)."
He (Allah) said: "Fear not, verily! I am with you both, hearing and seeing.
"So go you both to him, and say: 'Verily, we are Messengers of your Lord, so let the Children of Israel go with us, and torment them not; indeed, we have come with a sign from your Lord! And peace will be upon him who follows the guidance!
'Truly, it has been revealed to us that the torment will be for him who denies (believes not in the Oneness of Allah, and in His Messengers, etc.), and turns away' (from the truth and obedience of Allah)."
(Fir'aun (Pharaoh)) said: "Who then, O Musa (Moses), is the Lord of you two?"
[Musa (Moses)] said: "Our Lord is He Who gave to each thing its form and nature, then guided it aright."
[Fir'aun (Pharaoh)] said: "What about the generations of old?"
[Musa (Moses)] said: "The knowledge thereof is with my Lord, in a Record. My Lord neither errs nor forgets."
Who has made earth for you like a bed (spread out); and has opened roads (ways and paths, etc.) for you therein; and has sent down water (rain) from the sky. And We have brought forth with it various kinds of vegetation.
Eat and pasture your cattle (therein); verily, in this are Ayat (proofs and signs) for men of understanding.
From it (the earth) We created you, and into it We shall return you, and from it We shall bring you out once again.
And indeed We showed him [Fir'aun (Pharaoh)] all Our Signs and Evidences, but he denied and refused.

Surah As-Sajdah (The Prostration) – Muhsin Khan Translation
1. Alif-Lam-Mim.
2. The revelation of the Book (this Qur’an) is from the Lord of the ‘Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists) in which there is no doubt!
3. Or say they: "He (Muhammad SAW) has fabricated it?" Nay, it is the truth from your Lord, that you may warn a people to whom no warner has come before you (O Muhammad SAW), in order that they may be guided.
4. Allah it is He Who has created the heavens and the earth, and all that is between them in six Days. Then He Istawa (rose over) the Throne (in a manner that suits His Majesty). You (mankind) have none besides Him as a Wali (protector or helper) or an intercessor. Will you not then remember?
5. He arranges (every) affair from the heavens to the earth, then it will go up to Him, in one Day, the space whereof is a thousand years of your reckoning (i.e. reckoning of our present world's time).
6. That is He: the All-Knower of the unseen and the seen, the All-Mighty, the Most Merciful.
7. Who made everything He has created good, and He began the creation of man from clay.
8. Then He made his offspring from semen of despised water (male and female sexual discharge).
9. Then He fashioned him in due proportion, and breathed into him the soul (created by Allah for that person), and He gave you hearing (ears), sight (eyes), and hearts. Little is the thanks you give!
10. And they say: "When we are dead and become lost in the earth, shall we indeed be created anew?" Nay, but they deny the Meeting with their Lord!
11. Say: "The angel of death, who is set over you, will take your souls. Then you shall be brought to your Lord."
12. And if you could only see when the Mujrimun (criminals, disbelievers, sinners, etc.) shall hang their heads before their Lord (saying): "Our Lord! We have now seen and heard, so send us back (to the world) we will do righteous good deeds. Verily! We now believe with certainty."
13. And if We had willed, surely! We would have given every person his guidance, but the Word from Me took effect (about evildoers), that I will fill Hell with jinn and mankind together.
14. Then taste you the torment of the Fire because of your forgetting the Meeting of this Day of yours. Surely, We too will forget you: so taste you the abiding torment for what you used to do.
15. Only those believe in Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.), who, when they are reminded of them, fall down prostrate, and glorify the praises of their Lord, and they are not proud.
16. Their sides forsake their beds, to invoke their Lord in fear and hope, and they spend (in charity in Allah’s Cause) out of what We have bestowed on them.
17. No person knows what is kept hidden for them of joy as a reward for what they used to do.
18. Is then he who is a believer like him who is a Fasiq (disbeliever and disobedient to Allah)? Not equal are they.
19. As for those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah – Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, for them are Gardens (Paradise) as an entertainment, for what they used to do.
20. And as for those who are Fasiqun (disbelievers and disobedient to Allah), their abode will be the Fire. Every time they wish to get away therefrom, they will be put back therein, and it will be said to them: "Taste you the torment of the Fire which you used to deny."
21. And verily, We will make them taste of the near torment (i.e. the torment in the life of this world) prior to the supreme torment, in order that they may return (repent).
22. And who does more wrong than he who is reminded of the Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of his Lord, then turns aside therefrom? Verily, We shall exact retribution from the Mujrimun (criminals, disbelievers, polytheists, sinners, etc.).
23. And indeed We gave Musa (Moses) the Scripture [the Taurat (Torah)]. So be not you in doubt of meeting him [i.e. when you met Musa (Moses) during the night of Al-Isra, over the heavens]. And We made it (the Torah) a guide to the Children of Israel.
24. And We made from among them (Children of Israel), leaders, giving guidance under Our Command, when they were patient and used to believe with certainty in Our Ayat.
25. Verily, your Lord will judge between them, on the Day of Resurrection, concerning that wherein they used to differ.
26. Is it not a guidance for them: how many generations We have destroyed before them, in whose dwellings they do walk about? Verily, in that are signs. Will they not then listen?
27. Have they not seen how We drive water to the dry land without any vegetation, and therewith bring forth crops providing food for their cattle and themselves? Will they not then see?
28. They say: "When will this Fath (Decision) be (between us and you, i.e. the Day of Resurrection), if you are telling the truth?"
29. Say: "On the Day of Al-Fath (Decision), no profit will it be to those who disbelieve if they (then) believe! Nor will they be granted a respite."
30. So turn aside from them (O Muhammad SAW) and await. Verily, they (too) are awaiting.

Surah An-Naml (27): Verses 13–81
Translation: Muhsin Khan

13. But when Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) came to them, clear to see, they said: "This is a manifest magic."
14. And they belied them (those Ayat) wrongfully and arrogantly, though their ownselves were convinced thereof (i.e. those (Ayat) are from Allah), out of injustice and haughtiness. So see what was the end of the Mufsidun (disbelievers, disobedient to Allah, evildoers, liars).
15. And indeed We gave knowledge to Dawud (David) and Sulaiman (Solomon), and they both said: "All the praises and thanks be to Allah, Who has preferred us above many of His believing slaves!"
16. And Sulaiman (Solomon) inherited (the knowledge of) Dawud (David). He said: "O mankind! We have been taught the language of birds, and on us has been bestowed all things. This, verily, is an evident grace (from Allah)."
17. And there were gathered before Sulaiman (Solomon) his hosts of jinn and men, and birds, and they all were set in battle order (marching forward).
18. Till, when they came to the valley of the ants, one of the ants said: "O ants! Enter your dwellings, lest Sulaiman (Solomon) and his hosts should crush you, while they perceive not."
19. So he (Solomon) smiled, amused at her speech and said: "My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds that will please You, and admit me by Your Mercy among Your righteous slaves."
20. He inspected the birds, and said: "What is the matter that I see not the hoopoe? Or is he among the absentees?
21. I will surely punish him with a severe torment, or slaughter him, unless he brings me a clear reason."
22. But the hoopoe stayed not long, he came up and said: "I have grasped (the knowledge of a thing) which you have not grasped and I have come to you from Saba' (Sheba) with true news.
23. I found a woman ruling over them, and she has been given all things, and she has a great throne.
24. I found her and her people worshipping the sun instead of Allah, and Shaitan (Satan) has made their deeds fair-seeming to them, and has barred them from (Allah's) Way, so they have no guidance,
25. Al-La (this word has two interpretations) (a) None has the right to be worshipped but Allah
(b) Do not worship except Allah
Who brings out the hidden in the heavens and the earth, and knows what you conceal and what you reveal.
26. Allah, La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), the Lord of the Supreme Throne!
27. (Solomon) said: "We shall see whether you speak the truth or you are (one) of the liars.
28. Go you with this letter of mine, and deliver it to them, then draw back from them, and see what (answer) they return."
29. She said: "O chiefs! Verily! Here is delivered to me a noble letter,
30. Verily! It is from Sulaiman (Solomon), and verily! It (reads): In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful:
31. "Be you not exalted against me, but come to me as Muslims (true believers who submit to Allah with full submission)."
32. She said: "O chiefs! Advise me in (this) case of mine. I decide no case till you are present with me."
33. They said: "We have great strength, and great ability for war, but it is for you to command; so think over what you will command."
34. She said: "Verily! Kings, when they enter a town (country), they despoil it, and make the most honorable amongst its people low. And thus they do.
35. But verily! I am going to send him a present, and see with what (answer) the messengers return."
36. So when (the messengers with the present) came to Sulaiman (Solomon), he said: "Will you help me in wealth? What Allah has given me is better than that which He has given you! Nay, you rejoice in your gift!"
37. "Go back to them, we verily shall come to them with hosts that they cannot resist, and we shall drive them out from there in disgrace, and they will be abased."
38. He said: "O chiefs! Which of you can bring me her throne before they come to me surrendering themselves in obedience?"
39. An 'Ifrit (strong) from the jinn said: "I will bring it to you before you rise from your place (council). And verily, I am indeed strong, and trustworthy for such work."
40. One with whom was knowledge of the Scripture said: "I will bring it to you within the twinkling of an eye!" Then when (Solomon) saw it placed firmly before him, he said: "This is by the Grace of my Lord! – to test me whether I give thanks (for the bounty of Allah) or act with ingratitude. And whoever gives thanks, he gives thanks for (the good of) his own self; and whoever is ungrateful, (he is ungrateful only for the loss of his own self). Certainly! My Lord is Rich (Free of all wants), Bountiful."
41. He said: "Disguise her throne for her that we may see whether she will be guided (to recognize her throne), or she will be one of those not guided."
42. So when she came, it was said (to her): "Is your throne like this?" She said: "It is as though it were the very same." And [Solomon said]: "Knowledge was bestowed on us before her, and we were submitted to Allah (in Islam as Muslims before her)."
43. And that which she used to worship besides Allah has prevented her (from Islam), for she was of a disbelieving people.
44. It was said to her: "Enter As-Sarh" (a glass surface with water underneath it) or a palace, but when she saw it, she thought it was a pool, and she tucked up her clothes uncovering her legs. (Solomon) said: "Verily, it is Sarh paved smooth with slab of glass." She said: "My Lord! Verily, I have wronged myself, and I submit (in Islam, together with Sulaiman (Solomon)) to Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists)."

 
45. And indeed We sent to Thamud their brother Salih (Saleh), saying: "Worship Allah (Alone and none else)." Then look! They became two parties (believers and disbelievers) quarreling with each other.
46. He said: "O my people! Why do you seek to hasten the evil (torment) before the good (Allah’s Mercy)? Why seek you not forgiveness of Allah, that you may receive mercy?"
47. They said: "We augur an evil omen from you and those with you." He said: "Your omen is with Allah; nay, but you are a people that are being tested."
48. And there were in the city nine men (from the sons of their chiefs), who made mischief in the land, and would not reform.
49. They said: "Swear one to another by Allah that we shall make a secret night attack on him and his household, and afterwards we will surely say to his near relatives: 'We witnessed not the destruction of his household, and verily we are telling the truth.'"
50. So they plotted a plot, and We planned a plan, while they perceived not.
51. Then see how was the end of their plot! Verily! We destroyed them and their nation, all together.
52. These are their houses in utter ruin, for they did wrong. Verily, in this is indeed an Ayah (a lesson or a sign) for people who know.
53. And We saved those who believed, and used to fear Allah, and keep their duty to Him.
54. And (remember) Lout (Lot)! When he said to his people: "Do you commit Al-Fahisha (evil, great sin, every unlawful sexual intercourse) while you see (one another doing so)?
55. "Do you indeed approach men lustfully rather than women? Nay, but you are a people who behave senselessly."
56. There was no other answer given by his people except that they said: "Drive out the family of Lout (Lot) from your city. Verily, these are men who want to be pure (from sins)!"
57. But We saved him and his family, except his wife; We destined her to be of those who remained behind.
58. And We rained down on them a rain (of stones). So evil was the rain of those who were warned.
59. Say (O Muhammad SAW): "Praise and thanks be to Allah, and peace be on His slaves whom He has chosen (for His Message)! Is Allah better, or (all) that you ascribe as partners (to Him)?"
60. Is not He (better than your gods) Who created the heavens and the earth, and sends down for you water (rain) from the sky, whereby We cause to grow wonderful gardens full of beauty and delight? It is not in your ability to cause the growth of their trees. Is there any ilah (god) with Allah? Nay, but they are a people who ascribe equals (to Him)!

61. Is not He (better than your gods) Who has made the earth as a fixed abode, and has placed rivers in its midst, and has placed firm mountains therein, and has set a barrier between the two seas (of salt and sweet water)? Is there any ilah (god) with Allah? Nay, but most of them know not.

62. Is not He (better than your gods) Who responds to the distressed one when he calls Him, and Who removes the evil, and makes you inheritors of the earth, generations after generations? Is there any ilah (god) with Allah? Little is that you remember!

63. Is not He (better than your gods) Who guides you in the darkness of the land and the sea, and Who sends the winds as heralds of glad tidings, going before His Mercy (rain)? Is there any ilah (god) with Allah? High Exalted be Allah above all that they associate as partners (to Him)!

64. Is not He (better than your gods) Who originates creation, and shall thereafter repeat it, and Who provides for you from heaven and earth? Is there any ilah (god) with Allah? Say, "Bring forth your proofs, if you are truthful."

65. Say: "None in the heavens and the earth knows the Ghaib (unseen) except Allah, nor can they perceive when they shall be resurrected."

66. Nay, but their knowledge about the Hereafter is little and uncertain. Nay, they are in doubt about it. Nay, they are blind about it.

67. And those who disbelieve say: "When we have become dust – we and our fathers – shall we really be brought forth (again)?

68. "Indeed, we were promised this – we and our fathers before (us); this is nothing but tales of the ancients!"

69. Say to them (O Muhammad SAW): "Travel in the land and see how has been the end of the criminals (those who denied Allah’s Messengers and disobeyed Allah)."

70. And grieve you not over them, nor be straitened (in distress) because of what they plot.

71. And they (the disbelievers) say: "When (will) this promise (be fulfilled), if you are truthful?"

72. Say: "It may be that some of that which you are asking to be hastened on, might be close behind you."

73. And verily, your Lord is full of grace for mankind, yet most of them do not give thanks.

74. And verily, your Lord knows what their breasts conceal and what they reveal.

75. And there is nothing hidden in the heaven and the earth but it is in a Clear Book (i.e. Al-Lauh Al-Mahfuz).

76. Verily, this Qur’an narrates to the Children of Israel most of that in which they differ.

77. And truly, it (this Qur’an) is a guide and a mercy to the believers.

78. Verily, your Lord will decide between them, by His Judgment. And He is the All-Mighty, the All-Knowing.

79. So put your trust in Allah; surely, you (O Muhammad SAW) are on manifest truth.

80. Verily, you cannot make the dead to hear, nor can you make the deaf to hear the call when they flee, turning their backs.

81. Nor can you lead the blind out of their error, you can only make to hear those who believe in Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.), and who have submitted (to Allah in Islam).