Syncing in Disguise

When I think about my journey of faith, my mother-in-law plays a significant role in shaping it, even though cultural and societal perceptions of living with a mother-in-law often clouded the true bond we developed over time. When she first came to live with us, I was in a bind of true challenge. My children were still young, and having grown up with the experience of an elderly family member in the house, I feared they wouldn’t receive the proper attention they needed. And, let’s be honest, nobody at that age wants to take on the kind of responsibility that feels like it threatens their own life and goals.

But those fears didn’t last long. I’ve always been the type to snap back into reality within seconds of feeling threatened by things beyond my control. I accepted the situation, even though it wasn’t easy. Our personalities took time to get in sync, and I worked hard to understand her needs, just as she tried to understand mine. She endured a huge culture clash, and I was aware of the silent judgments she may have kept to herself. My emotional intelligence constantly called for me to be considerate of the things she simply hadn’t been exposed to in order to understand.

Over time, we built a bond with many layers. Her level of piety was one of the biggest challenges for me because, at the time, I didn’t feel I was at her level. I didn’t grow up with her, so I couldn’t fully grasp her spiritual stance, and now that I reflect, I think she may have thought my own level of piety was still amateur. Looking back at how far I’ve come, I can see why. She was the epitome of a mother who worked spiritually to yield positive results for herself and her children.

She was emotionally challenged too—losing her husband, living away from her home and out of her element—but her faith wasn’t performative. It was from the core of who she was, and she had so much to share, though we rarely had enough time to open space for those conversations. She’s the one who inspired me to understand what Allah wanted from me when I started waking up randomly at 2 and 3 a.m. Watching her wake for tahajjud with such diligence showed me how to recognize when Allah is calling on your heart. She set the bar, and I used to joke to my sister that she was like a soldier of Allah.

With all due respect, I never disrespected her nor tried to discount her needs or feelings. We had a mutual regard for each other, and I always supported her. Through all of the challenges and adjustments, she shaped a part of my understanding of faith that I still hold dear today.

But this deepening of faith is rooted in sincere experiences and Allah’s guidance, has been constantly misunderstood and misrepresented. The center of all the talk against me wearing the niqab is on the basis that I am proclaiming clear guidance from Allah (SWT). This isn’t your everyday message, and it certainly isn’t something to play with. The details and depictions being passed around are misconstrued, because Allah (SWT) made His guidance evident to help me navigate a deeply personal family matter. But the vagueness of such a "distant" call makes it questionable.

People assume Allah has forgiven me in private for a sin I never even committed, and that I’m somehow proudly showing off His forgiveness. That’s not how it went. By nature, I’m a good person with a strong personality. I’ve never tolerated deceit or negativity and have always shown up consistently as who I am.

This spiritual shift is tied to a pivotal moment in my life—my divorce. But instead of allowing the truth of Allah’s presence and help to be seen, the societal perception of divorce has turned it into gossip and rumors. People question: “What’s so special about her that she had to conceal her divorce and disappear for so long? How bad was her marriage for her to act like it’s too delicate to talk about?”

Some even think I’m trying to force others to believe, as if I’m imposing the deen on people out of guilt for a “sin” I never committed. That is the worst type of assumption. Selfish motives and deceit have no place in da’wah. It takes deep inspiration from Allah to gain the confidence to do this type of work.

And the hardest da’wah is with family. Family knows the intricate details of your life, so when they see a character shift from hearing Allah’s words, it’s easy for them to label it as brainwashing or desperate attempts to “sell” the deen. Holding on to the Qur’an and trusting Allah through life’s challenges can intimidate others who may not be upholding the same principles. That’s when the dismissals come like  “She’s crazy.” “She’s lost it.” “She’s schizophrenic.”

This is a form of perpetration that benefits both sides—the ones spreading the rumors and those who want to believe them. Satan will always look for people, even close family members, who will host his influence to go against what Allah sends down.

But the reality is, while Allah asks us to keep matters to ourselves and the concept of ‘giving it to Allah’ is important, He is also asking me to confirm that this is not a joking matter to be used as gossip. Real questions should be asked about the narratives being shared—not to contain the matter, but to rectify and understand, so that people can see this isn’t a game. That’s why people assume I’m trying to correct everyone or that I’m pulling belief out of thin air just to get people to trust my message. But the truth is, there are people who have imposed and sabotaged the truth to protect themselves.

Remember there is a reason this is all unfolding, and it isn’t to divide us. It’s to hearken to the truth just as much as we’ve been taught to hearken to society. There is a language of Allah’s Oneness that has been drifting, and I was receptive enough to learn and understand what that meant. With the FBI as our witness entirely, it’s clear that Allah’s natural laws and the formation of life and circumstances are all predestined.

If He wants the world to make its way back to Him, then you can be sure He will deliver it in the most convincing way—one that He knows we will both demand and deserve. This isn’t about self-promotion or control; it’s about recognizing that Allah’s plans are larger than any one of us, and that when He sets things into motion, they carry a weight we cannot deny.

The truth is, these tests expose what’s hidden in people’s hearts—their intentions, their loyalties, their fears, and their faith. Those who seek to conceal or sabotage the truth will cling to the noise of society’s perceptions, but those who are sincere will stop, question, and seek clarity. That’s the difference. This isn’t about me trying to correct everyone; it’s about Allah bringing His truth forward in the way He decides. 

Allah’s test has been delivered in the language of society itself, to see how much society chooses to remain on the surface. Allah makes it clear that the Qur’an is for those who think deeper. This isn’t something to perceive superficially, nor is it some kind of brochure to skim through and form shallow conclusions.

The less speculation there is, the more room there is for introspection. That is where true understanding begins—when people stop rushing to judge and instead turn inward, asking themselves what Allah is really showing them through these events.

This isn’t a test to shame or isolate anyone; it’s a test to awaken hearts. And as heavy as it has been to carry, I know it is rooted in mercy. Allah’s way is always purposeful, even when it’s misunderstood. So I will continue to walk relying on Allah and His 99 names—because He knows I authentically reached for Him long before my piety showed as a veil of His guidance. 

Surah Muhammad-Fighting

Those who disbelieve and hinder (men) from the Path of Allah, He will render their deeds vain.
But those who believe and do righteous good deeds, and believe in that which is sent down to Muhammad—for it is the truth from their Lord—He will expiate from them their sins, and will make good their state.
That is because those who disbelieve follow falsehood, while those who believe follow the truth from their Lord. Thus does Allah set forth for mankind their parables.
So, when you meet (in fight – Jihad in Allah's Cause) those who disbelieve, smite (their) necks till when you have killed and wounded many of them, then bind a bond firmly (on them, i.e. take them as captives). Thereafter (is the time) either for generosity (i.e. free them without ransom), or ransom, until the war lays down its burden. Thus, you are ordered by Allah to continue in carrying out Jihad against the disbelievers till they embrace Islam or at least come under your protection. But if it had been Allah's Will, He Himself could certainly have punished them (without you). But (He lets you fight), in order to test you, some with others. But those who are killed in the Way of Allah, He will never let their deeds be lost.
He will guide them and set right their state.
And admit them to Paradise which He has made known to them.
O you who believe! If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm.
But those who disbelieve, for them is destruction, and (Allah) will make their deeds vain.
That is because they hate that which Allah has sent down; so He has made their deeds fruitless.
Have they not traveled through the earth, and seen what was the end of those before them? Allah destroyed them completely, and a similar (fate awaits) the disbelievers.
That is because Allah is the Protector of those who believe, but those who disbelieve have no protector.
Certainly, Allah will admit those who believe and do righteous good deeds to Gardens under which rivers flow (in Paradise); while those who disbelieve enjoy themselves and eat as cattle eat; and the Fire will be their abode.
And many a town, stronger than your town (Makkah) (O Muhammad) which has driven you out, We have destroyed. And there was none to help them.
Is he who is on a clear proof from his Lord, like those for whom their evil deeds are made fair-seeming while they follow their own lusts (evil desires)?
The description of Paradise which the Muttaqun (pious) are promised: in it are rivers of water the taste and smell of which are not changed; rivers of milk of which the taste never changes; rivers of wine delicious to those who drink; and rivers of clarified honey (clear and pure); therein for them is every kind of fruit; and forgiveness from their Lord. (Are these) like those who shall dwell forever in the Fire and be given to drink boiling water so that it cuts up their bowels?
And among them are some who listen to you (O Muhammad), till when they go out from you, they say to those who have received knowledge: “What is it he has said just now?” Such are men whose hearts Allah has sealed, and they follow their lusts (evil desires).
While as for those who accept guidance, He increases their guidance, and bestows on them their piety.
Do they then await (anything) other than the Hour, that it should come upon them suddenly? But some of its portents (signs) have already come; and when it (actually) is on them, how can they benefit then by their reminder?
So know (O Muhammad) that La ilaha illallah (none has the right to be worshipped but Allah), and ask forgiveness for your sin, and also for (the sin of) believing men and believing women. And Allah knows well your moving about, and your place of rest (in your homes).
Those who believe say: "Why is not a Surah (chapter of the Qur'an) sent down (for us)?" But when a decisive Surah is sent down, and fighting (Jihad – holy fighting in Allah's Cause) is mentioned (in it), you will see those in whose hearts is a disease (of hypocrisy) looking at you with a look of one fainting to death. But it was better for them.
Obedience and good words are better. And when the matter (of marching for Jihad) is resolved on, then if they had been true to Allah, it would have been better for them.
Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship?
Such are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.
Do they not then think deeply in the Qur'an, or are their hearts locked up (from understanding it)?
Verily, those who turned back (have apostatized) as disbelievers after the guidance has become manifest to them—Satan has beautified for them (their false hopes), and Allah prolonged their term (age).
This is because they said to those who hate what Allah has sent down: "We will obey you in part of the matter." But Allah knows their secrets.
Then how (will it be) when the angels will take their souls at death, smiting their faces and their backs?
That is because they followed that which angered Allah and hated that which pleased Him. So He made their deeds fruitless.
Or do those in whose hearts is a disease (of hypocrisy) think that Allah will not bring to light all their hidden ill-wills?
Had We so willed, We could have shown them to you, and you should have known them by their marks; but surely, you will know them by the tone of their speech! And Allah knows all that you do.
And surely, We shall try you till We test those who strive hard (for the Cause of Allah) and the patient, and We shall test your facts (i.e. the one who is a liar, and the one who is truthful).
Verily, those who disbelieve, and hinder (men) from the Path of Allah, and oppose the Messenger (by standing against him), after the guidance has been clearly shown to them, they will not harm Allah in the least, but He will make their deeds fruitless.
O you who believe! Obey Allah, and obey the Messenger and render not vain your deeds.
Verily, those who disbelieve, and hinder (men) from the Path of Allah, then die while they are disbelievers—Allah will not forgive them.
So be not weak and ask not for peace (from the enemies of Islam) while you are having the upper hand. Allah is with you, and will never decrease the reward of your good deeds.
The life of this world is but play and pastime; but if you believe (in the Oneness of Allah), and fear Allah, and avoid evil, He will grant you your wages, and will not ask you your wealth.
If He were to ask you of it and press you, you would covetously withhold, and He will expose your secrets.
Behold! You are those who are called to spend in the Cause of Allah, yet among you are some who are miserly. And whoever is miserly, it is only at the expense of his own self. But Allah is Rich (Free of all wants), and you (mankind) are poor. If you turn away (from Islam and the obedience of Allah), He will exchange you for some other people, and they will not be your likes.

Surah Fath-Victory

Verily, We have given you (O Muhammad) a manifest victory
That Allah may forgive you your sins of the past and the future, and complete His Favour on you, and guide you on the Straight Path
And that Allah may help you with strong help
He it is Who sent down calmness and tranquillity into the hearts of the believers, that they may grow more in Faith along with their (present) Faith. And to Allah belong the hosts of the heavens and the earth, and Allah is Ever All-Knower, All-Wise
That He may admit the believing men and the believing women to Gardens under which rivers flow to abide therein forever, and He may expiate from them their sins, and that is with Allah a supreme success
And that He may punish the hypocrites, men and women, and also the polytheists, men and women, who think evil thoughts about Allah. For them is a disgraceful torment, and the Anger of Allah is upon them, and He has cursed them and prepared Hell for them, and worst indeed is that destination
And to Allah belong the hosts of the heavens and the earth. And Allah is Ever All-Powerful, All-Wise
Verily, We have sent you (O Muhammad) as a witness, as a bearer of glad tidings, and as a warner
In order that you (O mankind) may believe in Allah and His Messenger, and that you assist and honour him, and glorify (Allah's) praises morning and afternoon
Verily, those who give Bai'âh (pledge) to you (O Muhammad), they are giving Bai'âh (pledge) to Allah. The Hand of Allah is over their hands. Then whosoever breaks his pledge, breaks it only to his own harm, and whosoever fulfills what he has covenanted with Allah, He will bestow on him a great reward
Those of the bedouins who lagged behind will say to you: "Our possessions and our families occupied us, so ask forgiveness for us." They say with their tongues what is not in their hearts. Say: "Who then has any power at all (to intervene) on your behalf with Allah if He intends you hurt or intends you benefit? Nay, but Allah is Ever All-Aware of what you do"
Nay, but you thought that the Messenger and the believers would never return to their families, and that thought seemed fair in your hearts, and you did think an evil thought and you became a people ruined
And whosoever does not believe in Allah and His Messenger (Muhammad), then verily, We have prepared for the disbelievers a blazing Fire
And to Allah belongs the sovereignty of the heavens and the earth. He forgives whom He wills, and punishes whom He wills. And Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful
Those who lagged behind will say, when you set forth to take the spoils: "Allow us to follow you." They want to change Allah’s Words. Say: "You shall not follow us; thus Allah has said beforehand." Then they will say: "Nay, you envy us." Nay, but they understand not except a little
Say (O Muhammad) to the bedouins who lagged behind: "You shall be called to fight against a people given to great warfare: then you shall fight them, or they shall surrender. Then if you obey, Allah will give you a fair reward, but if you turn away as you turned away before, He will punish you with a painful torment"
No blame or sin is there upon the blind, nor is there blame or sin upon the lame, nor is there blame or sin upon the sick (that they go not out to war). And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, He will admit him to Gardens beneath which rivers flow (Paradise); and whosoever turns back, He will punish him with a painful torment
Indeed, Allah was pleased with the believers when they gave their Bai'âh (pledge) to you (O Muhammad) under the tree, He knew what was in their hearts, and He sent down calmness and tranquillity upon them, and He rewarded them with a near victory
And abundant spoils that they will capture. And Allah is Ever All-Mighty, All-Wise
Allah has promised you abundant spoils that you will capture, and He has hastened for you this, and has withheld the hands of men from you; that it may be a sign for the believers, and that He may guide you to a Straight Path
And other (victories and booty) which are not yet within your power, indeed Allah encompasses them, and Allah is Ever Able to do all things
And if those who disbelieve had fought you, they would certainly have turned their backs; then they would have found neither a protector nor a helper
That is the Sunnah (Way) of Allah which has passed away of old. And you will not find any change in the Sunnah (Way) of Allah
And He it is Who has withheld their hands from you and your hands from them in the midst of Makkah, after He made you victorious over them. And Allah is Ever the All-Seer of what you do
They are the ones who disbelieved and hindered you from Al-Masjid-al-Haram and prevented the sacrificial animals from reaching their place of sacrifice. Had there not been believing men and believing women whom you did not know, that you may kill them and a crime be charged to you without your knowing, that Allah might bring into His Mercy whom He wills. If they had been apart, We verily would have punished those of them who disbelieved, with painful torment
When those who disbelieve had put in their hearts pride and haughtiness - the pride and haughtiness of the time of ignorance, then Allah sent down His calmness and tranquillity upon His Messenger and upon the believers, and made them stick to the word of piety and righteousness, and they were well entitled to it and worthy of it. And Allah is the All-Knower of everything
Indeed Allah shall fulfil the true vision which He showed to His Messenger in truth. Certainly, you shall enter Al-Masjid-al-Haram, if Allah wills, secure, (some) having your heads shaved, and (some) having your hair cut short, having no fear. He knew what you knew not, and He granted besides that a near victory
He it is Who has sent His Messenger with guidance and the religion of truth to make it victorious over all (other) religions. And Sufficient is Allah as a Witness
Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, and those who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves. You see them bowing and falling down in prostration, seeking Bounty from Allah and (His) Good Pleasure. The mark of them is on their faces from the traces of prostration. This is their description in the Taurat. But their description in the Injeel is like a seed which sends forth its shoot, then makes it strong, it then becomes thick, and it stands straight on its stem, delighting the sowers—that He may enrage the disbelievers with them. Allah has promised those among them who believe and do righteous good deeds, forgiveness and a mighty reward.