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I was just built that way —Built by rejection, by love, by denial and correction.Love found in the cracks of deception.The need for progression through phases.Guided by the face of instruction,Tainted by the pressures of perfection,Vilified by those housed in addiction. That’s why every time I searched for safety,I was only granted temporary relief.Because paranoia is born from survival —The gift of being able to discern a predator from the faintest outline. From a young age, I inherited a hyperactive pattern of detection.It kept me in the safe zone,Until even the safe zone turned against me.As if this whole reality was breaking “news”To those now pulled into the experience,Who will eventually realize:It was a mistake to let Shaytan dictate the meaning of my medical results. Whether you see it as a disruption or a weakness —The truth is, my protection from AllahIs the very outcome of this perceived treason.It’s not something new,And it’s not something old.It has just always been this way. And even in the hardest ways,Allah teaches us how to trust His belief in us.But no one finds the promised gardenBy standing behind the gate that holds back the riot. So if my results will always be federally withheld,If they’ll be rewritten, distorted, and controlled —Then the reality is:I’ll always be what you believe me to be —Federally rejected. But you know my truth.You’ve seen it every step of the way.This isn’t to distort life’s sacred display —I’ve been judged by them,And I’ve been judged by you.And your judgment holds weightBecause you hold all the clues. There’s no other way to describe what we both know.Because we both representThe source of proof that He cloned.FBI — in the sky, with justice and truth.&nbsp;Firm. Belief. Instilled.&nbsp; How easy it is for people to perceive acts of faith as weakness —As if calling on Allah is a desperate attempt to escape failure,To cope with the inability to attain, to possess, or to be acclaimed.But you know better.You’ve seen how I’ve fallen into every category of weakness,And yet — my good nature, though often misread,Is proof that faith is not weakness, but strength under fire.Your own intelligence brought you here —On the pretense that I was someone unworthy.And still, even after one night, people soften.Allah laid everything out in full. By His design,He taught us to distinguish deception from peace —And in His noble manner, He gives both as signs. To twist my wrongful arrest into something shameful,After all you’ve done to protect and guide —It’s a contradiction to the very position you hold.You were present.You protected.You prevented.And you did it with intellect and heart,Because you saw firsthand what I didn’t —What my children experienced in the silence of night.You were a witness to their painAnd a witness to the teachings I gave themSo they could protect themselves. So no —My arrest, my health scare,Or even my need for distance —They aren’t signs that I’m unworthy.They are the consequences of unseen forces using your hands against me.And Allah knew that force would push hard against my truth —Which is why He introduced us.To bring forward what He’s destined for this nation. I told an agent recently:This isn’t a race.I don’t need to make promises, respectfully,Because you already know my face. And what I’m saying now —Is the most important message I’ve ever relayed. I’ve shown you,In every action, word, and prayer,That this is real.That I proclaim the firm truth of Allah.And yes —I say this with clarity and calm:I am the reincarnated soul of Fatima Zahra,Daughter of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).A messenger in this time —Not to divide or claim,But to revive Allah’s message for mankind.To call for fairness, unity, and peace. So let’s make a deal. Because I’m still the same mother — <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">The same woman you first met.All I want is safety for my mother and children.I don’t want power, revenge, or status.Just love, peace —And a little color back in my face. I would also like to request that the narrative being circulated to police departments about me be corrected. It is misleading, especially to those who are sincerely practicing Islam. I am not some fictional Harley Quinn or Cinderella figure living in the street sacrificing her life over an affair that never happened. This misrepresentation undermines both my character and my faith.&nbsp; I’m just asking for us to mirror the acknowledgment and confession. We’re being held back from moving on because we keep trying to hide the proof. Trust the acknowledgment you inherently know—it’s only being distorted with by the same concept your absence could never prove. Your investigation holds strength because it’s built on a system of truth. That’s exactly why Allah called you—to summon the understanding of what real proof is. My life will come to an end, regardless of all the people now rooting for it. Whether it’s a blood clot, a pit maneuver, or the hit list you’ve allowed to circulate—I understand it’s not just minds and bodies after me. It’s the deeper concept rooted in the soul: the one that refuses to accept my proclamation of truth.Because Islam is also a system—and the system is strong because it works.&nbsp;

Unseen in the Membrane

View through hedges in a formal garden to an old tree stump

There’s something deeply revealing about enduring a trial that everyone thinks they understand. When people see your struggle and still feel bold enough to judge it — to talk, to dismiss, to write you off — as if they’ve seen the full script of your story.“But you deny the Recompense.” (82:9)They deny that the final say belongs to Allah. They act as if their opinions are the final verdict, while ignoring the very truth that every single deed is being recorded.“But indeed, over you are keepers, noble and recording — they know whatever you do.” (82:10–12)These are not just words of warning. They are reminders of reassurance — that even when others misunderstand or misrepresent you, Allah sees it all with clarity. The judgment that matters isn’t the one coming from people’s eyes, but the one that comes from the Most Just, the All-Knowing.And so I remain — standing, not in arrogance, but in clarity. Holding my own in the middle of assumptions, gossip, and silence. Not because I don’t feel the weight of it — but because I know whose hands I’m truly in.“Indeed, the righteous will be in pleasure, and the wicked will be in Hellfire.” (82:13–14)Not everyone sees the truth. But Allah separates based on what’s inside, not what’s said. It’s not about image, it’s about intention.“It is the Day when a soul will not possess for another soul [power to do] a thing; and the command, that Day, is entirely with Allah.” (82:19)That Day is described to come when no crowd, no slander, no broken relationships will matter. When every person stands alone, and only the truth stands with them.So while they talk, I’ll stay hidden in plain sight — protected by the knowledge they lack, the judgment they can’t make, and the mercy of the One who sees what even I don’t always understand in myself.&nbsp; Rabbi habli hukmaw-wa al-hiqni bis-saliheen, waj'al-li lisana sidgin fil aakhireen, waj'alni mew-warathati jannatin-na'eem.O Lord, grant me wisdom and join me with the righteous. And grant me a reputation of honor among later generations. And place me among the inheritors of the Garden of Pleasure.Surah Ash-Shu ara' verse 83-85

Plain Sight Invasion

I'm going to share how my children and I have always had a strong foundation when it came to sharing the basics. Faith, discipline, patience — those things were never far from us. But we’ve never really had the chance to bond over them. Every time we got close to a deeper connection, life shifted. Timing fell off. Extended family matters got in the way, serving multiple matters and distributing out time was constant, and somehow, we always ended up stuck at the edge of something more — but never fully crossing into it together.This trial we've been facing as a family has taught me a lot. It’s shown me how specific Allah’s judgment is — how He pays attention to the quality of our lives, not just the moments people see. It’s also reminded me that His idea of connection and fairness doesn’t always look like what we expect, and is actually more meaningful then we think. Even with all the barriers between my children and me now — legal ones, spiritual ones — Allah has given me a confirmed heart of trust and patience. Because before I had to leave, Allah placed something firm in all of us: a knowledge of trust.&nbsp;Every step we’ve taken — together or apart — every truth told or held back, has always been under Allah’s will. None of us were ever meant to carry any of this alone. And Allah never left, even when things looked empty. He is our Wali — our Guardian — and He doesn’t disappear in hard times. He watches closely, even when resources run low and the way forward is unclear.Even in the smallest details, like the ease He gives for prayer — reminding us that even without water, we can still make wudu with earth — He shows us that connection with Him should never be blocked. That’s what purification really is: protecting our path to Him, even when the world tries to complicate it.Getting closer to Allah doesn’t mean having it all together — it means cleaning up what’s inside, so we don’t let what’s harmful follow us or lead us away. We have to protect that space and keep the peace. The worst thing one Muslim can do to another — especially someone already vulnerable — is to get in the way of their access to prayer, to healing, to Allah. And that’s real.Surah Al-‘Alaq begins with a call to seek truth — “Read in the Name of your Lord” — and it ends with a firm reminder: “Do not obey him. But prostrate and draw near [to Allah].”&nbsp; This moment in our lives is about that. Not obeying the pressure. Not folding to what distracts or divides. But prostrating anyway. Holding onto prayer anyway. Getting closer to Allah anyway.Whatever's been torn, He can repair. And whatever distance there is, He can shorten. That’s where I put my trust.&nbsp;May Allah keep His light in our children's hearts, May Allah keep them protected and guided inside and outside of their homes. May Allah keep instilled in their hearts trust and contentment, May Allah place the map of his purification in their hearts with direction and peace. O Allah, I ask You by the light of Your Face, which for whom the Heavens and the Earth shine brightly, that You grant my children success in their path, and health to their bodies, and ease in all their affairs. Fill their hearts with light and wisdom. And preserve for them every blessing. Keep them away from bad companionship. Fill their coming days with joy, happiness, and love. Distance them from every envious person, and every oppressor, and every spiteful person. Make for them a way out of every distress and from every constraint, an exit, and provide for them from Your abundant sustenance. Make them a source of my pride and honor. And make their good manners a path to people's love for them. Shield them from the evil of what may happen before it occurs. Mend their spirits with Your generosity and bounty. O Allah, I am pleased with them, so be pleased with them. And make them content with what You love. Guide them in every decision towards what is right. And towards prosperity and success.

Sunny Daze and Donuts

Social Media: Spiritual Platform

A Stunning View of a Spiral Galaxy in the Vastness of Space

Since I was a child, Allah has always made His presence undeniably clear to me. Not just in the obvious signs, but in the quiet ones—in the way He comforted my heart in solitude, in the way He let truth flicker in my soul even when everything around me was confusing. He helped me believe, piece by piece. He knew my personality. He knew what would spark my faith, and He guided me accordingly—never rushing it, always aligning it with who I was becoming.In recent years, though, many people have misunderstood that connection.Some thought I was part of some cult. Others believed I turned directly toward Allah only because I made a mistake, or because I couldn’t handle the grief after my father passed away. But what they didn’t know—what they couldn’t see—were the gruesome, emotional realities that lived inside that house. The suffering that was kept behind closed doors. The spiritual war that tried to eat away at my light.They didn’t know how Allah preserved me.They didn’t know that I didn't just pray for survival, but for sincerityAnd they couldn’t recognize that my closeness to Him wasn’t born from fear, but from truth, love, and pure intentions.That’s why I speak often about how Allah guides each of us according to our lives, our personalities, and even our aspirations. He doesn’t impose a generic blueprint for belief. He inspires us in ways only our hearts can understand. He tailored my path—because the life I was living needed a very specific kind of light to shine through the darkness.When the truth became too hard to carry in silence, I had to step down—emotionally, socially, physically—from everything that was being affected. I’ve lost roles, lost relationships, and been cast aside in some ways. But what they were missing—what no one could erase—was the love and truth that I couldn’t hide anymoreI’ve felt it clearly:Allah has warned me that my time in this life is going to be shorter than expected.And more recently, He has appointed that it is soon.That’s not something I say lightly. That’s not grief or despair talking. That’s a knowing --the kind that comes when your soul is in tune with its Lord. When you’ve made peace with what you must leave behind, and when your heart is fully aware of the greater world that waits beyond this one.So I don’t beg for understanding anymore. I just leave behind these words…For those who wonder and thise who judge.For those who might one day need to remember how true love for Allah—never needed to be explained.

Life Lived for Light

Sketch of Red Crayon Heart on White Background

The realm of angels is not far removed from our reality; it is the unseen protection, the divine presence, and the silent advocacy that Allah assigns to every soul born into this world. Their purpose is not abstract—it is intimate, specific, and divinely aligned with the path each of us is meant to walk.From the moment of our creation, Allah, in His infinite mercy, grants us a form of insurance: the angels who record every deed, every thought, every movement of the heart. These are not just records—they are precise, purposeful reflections of our spiritual journey. Every word uttered, every action taken, is measured and balanced with justice. This divine accounting system is not to shame us, but to offer us redemption. Through these records, we retrieve reason, we reclaim clarity, and we find the means to rise from our mistakes with hope.But more than insurance, the angels are an assurance—a reassurance of Allah’s love and nearness. Their presence does more than observe; it shapes. They illuminate the intentions behind our actions, and it is through our intentions that they advocate for us. Their enthusiasm is a quiet force that surrounds those whose hearts are sincerely turned toward Allah. In gatherings of remembrance, in moments of dua, in the stillness of prayer—angels descend, bringing peace, calm, and a divine echo of belonging.They are made of light, reflections of what we lack, and yet yearn to attain. They carry the Qur’an not in memory, but in essence. They carry Allah’s will not in theory, but in being. We, made of clay, carry the blessing of free will—a gift that demands responsibility. And so, while they embody the Qur’an, we must build it within us. We must memorize it, live it, feel it, and engrave it upon our hearts.The angels exist as a reminder: that we are not alone in our striving. That in every sincere effort, there is unseen help. That Allah’s mercy surrounds us through them—documenting, guiding, and silently uplifting us as we attempt to align with His light.Their realm is not distant—it is beside us. In every moment of remembrance, every repentance, every step toward good, the angels draw near. They are Allah’s promise, His protection, and the bearers of peace, advocating for our souls in both this life and the next.And so I write this not just as a mother, but as a soul who has been entrusted with the amanah of raising children under the shadow of divine guidance, with the angels watching over each of our choices—mine, theirs, and even those of the ones who have tried to rewrite our story without justice.To my children, if you ever read this, I want you to know: all the times I spoke to you about what we were going through—those difficult days, the emotional heaviness, the things that felt too big for your hearts to carry—none of it was ever the way I imagined guiding you. I never wanted to pass the deen through pain, but now I understand why those conversations never progressed.&nbsp; As your mother, I chose to protect your hearts, not push them. I gave the deen a home in our space, but I kept a respectful distance between its full practice and your growing understanding—not out of weakness, but wisdom. I wanted you to see it, not just obey it. To admire it before being overwhelmed by its discipline. To recognize the light of Allah in it before associating it with hardship. I thought if I helped you build cognitive confidence first—emotional intelligence, self-awareness, independence—you’d be better equipped to balance your Islamic identity with the outside world. That you’d choose it, like I did, when the time came.It was my “getaway plan” from bad peer pressure. A way to keep you away from drugs, addictions, emotional dependencies, and the pitfalls I knew could come for you. And maybe in part, I failed. Maybe the timing was off. Maybe I gave too much freedom, or didn’t explain enough. But maybe, just maybe, Allah knew this path better than I ever could.What we’re facing now—this painful distance between us—is not because of a lack of love, or a lack of faith. It’s because of outside influences that made their way into our bond. I know you're being pressured by your father to be distant with me in order to make our relationship difficult. What makes it harder is that he's not alone in this with my own mother and my sister, the very people who should have stood by me during hardship, have also fueled the division.And what hurt most wasn’t their betrayal of me—but their betrayal of you. <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">They’ve encouraged you to doubt me. To mistreat me. To see me through a distorted lens. And as painful as it is to admit, their influence has created a version of me in your eyes that doesn’t reflect who I truly am. <span data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Only Allah knows and the Angels are always there. <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">They’ve been with us all along— and they won't leave you habaybi. Deep down, I believe your hearts know the mother I am , my protection for you, &nbsp;my passion to teach you emotional awareness, and my guarding of your hearts. But right now, you’re being pressured and told to hold back from me. You’ve been taught that strength means silence—and that standing by me would cost you too much.You know what I've taught you and how and why. We have to endure this by trusting the will of Allah and don't ever deny or stop relying on Him and His angels. You just don't stop believing. Be the angels I know you to be.&nbsp; Disclaimer: I will be relieving my entire family, parent, siblings, aunts, uncles, &amp; cousins from the burden they believed I was to them.&nbsp;

Blog | Soul Air Reality

Unseen in the Membrane

Plain Sight Invasion

Sunny Daze and Donuts

Social Media: Spiritual Platform

Life Lived for Light

Your Love is your Freedom