Blog

The colorful summer bouquet of roses. The picturesque rosebush in the summer garden. The blooming rosebush in summer garden.

<p><strong>Living in the Shadow: The Impact of a Narcissistic Sibling</strong></p><p><br>Blood may be thicker than water, but sometimes family bonds can feel more like chains. Having a narcissistic sibling can be a confusing and emotionally draining experience. These individuals, masters of manipulation, can wreak havoc on family dynamics, leaving their victims feeling isolated, unheard, and used.&nbsp;</p><p><strong>The Master Manipulator: Triangulation and the Smear Campaign</strong></p><p>One of the hallmarks of a narcissistic sibling is their ability to triangulate. This involves pitting family members against each other, creating conflict and drama. They excel at crafting a narrative where they are the victim, and their targeted sibling is the villain. This "smear campaign" can be incredibly effective, leaving other family members bewildered and distrustful of the true victim.&nbsp;</p><p><strong>The Untouchable Facade: Why They Appear "Normal"</strong></p><p>The frustrating truth is, narcissistic siblings often appear perfectly normal to outsiders. Their charm and charisma can be disarming, making it difficult for others to believe the stories of their manipulative behavior. Their outward "dominance and confidence," which they use to control their victims, can be misinterpreted as trustworthiness.</p><p><strong>A World of Unchecked Emotions: The Narcissist's Inability to Self-Reflect</strong></p><p>Healthy individuals possess the ability to regulate their emotions and self-reflect. They can recognize when their behavior is hurtful and take steps to apologize and make amends. A narcissist, however, lacks this crucial skill. Their inflated sense of self-importance prevents them from acknowledging their mistakes. They are simply incapable of hearing what they say in a way that would cause them shame or guilt. This inability to self-reflect fuels their manipulative tactics and emotional outbursts.</p><p><strong>The Cycle of Confusion:</strong></p><p>The victim sibling can develop low self-esteem and self-doubt due to constant criticism. They may feel emotionally drained from the manipulative behavior. The narcissistic need for validation can lead to them exploiting the victim's kindness and resources (usury). The victim might downplay the abuse due to occasional compliments, creating a confusing dynamic.</p><p>The compliments and occasional displays of affection can be particularly damaging. They create a cycle of confusion for the victim sibling. They might question their own perceptions, wondering if the abuse is real or if they're overreacting. This makes it harder to set boundaries or distance themselves from the narcissist.</p><p><strong>For the victim, the experience is devastating. They've likely spent years being a loyal and supportive sibling, partner, or friend, only to be demonized by the narcissist and their groups. Here's how a narcissist bonds with other narcissists:</strong></p><p><strong>1. Shared Misery, Twisted Reality:</strong> Narcissists crave validation for their self-perception as the perpetual victim. In their groups, they find a pool of individuals who readily accept their fabricated stories. These stories often paint the victim as the aggressor, manipulating events to fit their narrative. The group dynamic reinforces these distortions, making the narcissist feel "understood" and further solidifying their false perception.</p><p><strong>2. Triangulation on a Larger Scale: </strong>Triangulation, the act of pitting people against each other, doesn't stop at the immediate family or friend group. Narcissists in these groups can use each other's experiences to further demonize their victims. They compare stories, creating a larger conspiracy where the victim appears to be a common enemy. This strengthens the narcissist's resolve and fuels their smear campaign.</p><p><strong>3. A Lack of Empathy:</strong> Empathy, the ability to understand another's perspective, is a foreign concept to a narcissist. In these groups, the lack of empathy is a shared characteristic. This means there's no one to challenge their skewed narratives or offer a voice of reason on behalf of the victim. The narcissist's perception remains unchallenged, creating a breeding ground for further manipulation.</p><p><strong>4. A Cycle of Abuse Perpetuated: </strong>These groups become echo chambers not just for validation, but also for refining their manipulation tactics. The narcissists share "winning strategies" used against their victims, further equipping them to control and exploit their relationships. This perpetuates a cycle of abuse, leaving victims feeling increasingly isolated and unheard.</p><h3>Remember, the Victim is Not Alone:</h3><p>If you are the victim of a narcissistic smear campaign, know that their reality is distorted. &nbsp;It's admirable to recognize narcissistic behavior for what it is: a weakness.&nbsp;While the environment created by these groups may feel overwhelming, it doesn't diminish the truth of your experience.&nbsp;Having your experience acknowledged by supportive people can be a powerful antidote to the narcissist's attempts to isolate and belittle you.</p><p> </p><p>Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and compassion.</p>

The Hidden Thorns of Narcissism

several gray windmill during daytime photography

<h3>The Essence of Tawakkul</h3><p>Trusting in Allah is a fundamental aspect of our faith as Muslims. It is a concept that brings peace, contentment, and a sense of surrender to the will of our Creator. Tawakkul, which can be translated as trust or reliance, is the act of placing our complete trust in Allah alone, knowing that He is the ultimate provider and controller of all affairs.</p><h3>&nbsp;"Indeed, Allah is sufficient for us as a protector and He is the best Disposer of affairs."<br>21:69-70 (Al-Anbiya)&nbsp;<br></h3><p>Tawakkul is not simply a passive reliance on Allah without taking any action. It is a balanced approach that combines trust in Allah with sincere efforts and actions on our part. As Muslims, we are encouraged to work hard, strive for excellence, and take the necessary steps to achieve our goals. However, we must remember that the ultimate outcome is in the hands of Allah.</p><h3>"Sufficient for us is Allah, and [He is] the best Disposer of affairs."<br>3:173 (Al-Imran)<br></h3><p>When we truly embrace tawakkul, we understand that our efforts alone are not sufficient to bring about the desired results. We recognize that success and failure are ultimately determined by Allah's wisdom and decree. By trusting in Allah's plan, we are relieved of the burden of trying to control everything ourselves. This allows us to be fully present in the current moment and focus on what we can do, rather than worry about the outcome.</p><p>The path can be like a winding road, filled with challenges and moments of confusion and even frustration,&nbsp; but it is the thread that can weave the safety net during life's toughest moments. Slander, deceit, or even being ostracized can't unravel you when your core is woven with tawakkul. That is how Responsive Allah (swt) is. He grants you the clarity to see through deception and the resilience to attract genuine connections who value your true worth.</p><h3>"Say, 'Sufficient is Allah as a Witness between me and you. Indeed, He is ever, concerning His servants, Knowing and Seeing."<br>17:96 (Al-Isra)<br></h3><p> </p><p>While Allah's protection is ever-present, He may guide us to work on ourselves before changing external circumstances. After all, why open new doors of blessings if our current habits wouldn't allow us to appreciate them? Similarly, prayers alone might not bring about the desired change if we haven't developed the inner trust to safeguard His gifts. Tawakkul, then, becomes a curriculum not just for serving Allah, but for serving ourselves and building the foundation to receive His blessings.</p><h2>Practical Steps to Embrace Tawakkul</h2><p>Embracing tawakkul is a continuous process that requires effort and reflection. Here are some practical steps we can take to strengthen our trust in Allah:</p><ol><li>Strengthen our relationship with Allah through regular prayer, recitation of the Quran, and remembrance of Allah.</li><li>Reflect on the attributes of Allah, such as His knowledge, wisdom, and mercy, to develop a deeper understanding of His power and control over all things.</li><li>Remember that our sustenance and provisions come from Allah alone. Trust that He will provide for us in ways that we may not even anticipate.</li><li>Seek guidance from the Quran and Sunnah in making decisions, knowing that Allah's guidance is the best and most reliable.</li><li>Let go of the need to control every aspect of our lives and surrender to Allah's will. Accept that His plans may differ from our own, but they are always for our ultimate benefit.</li></ol><p>Embracing tawakkul is a lifelong journey, it acknowledges that patience is a process, not a destination. You will have moments of frustration and doubt. That's okay. Forgive yourself, take a deep breath, and recommit to maintaining your boundaries and trusting in Allah's plan. By relying on Allah alone and surrendering to His will, we can find peace in the knowledge that we are in the hands of the Most Merciful and Wise.</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Sheikh Belal kicks off his character development series with a powerfu lesson on cultivating truthfulness.</strong></p><figure id="figure-yofcgadrtlu7c3w3d" class=""><iframe id="yofcgadrtlu7c3w3d" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jz9-Bs6x6oY" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz9-Bs6x6oY" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jz9-Bs6x6oY" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure>

Embracing Tawakkul: The Transformative Power of Trusting in Allah Alone

<p><br></p><p>Growing up as a Muslim Arab American presented its own unique set of circumstances. My siblings, cousins, and I were all first-generation Americans, as our parents had immigrated from the Middle East in the 70s with the goal of pursuing the American dream. My father's primary focus was on achieving a stable and a sustainable life. Being the youngest child, I was known for my spirited nature. I was often teased and willingly took on the role of doing tasks for others, without any complaints. Additionally, I possessed a great deal of enthusiasm, sensitivity, and curiosity.<br></p><p>The house I grew up in had a dynamic that was firmly rooted in Arab traditions and values, yet it also embraced a vibrant blend of American wit and influences. My parents exemplified the kind of couple you might see on TV sitcom. My father was incredibly animated, a math whiz, straightforward, and always had a punchline ready from a movie, show, or book he had read. Meanwhile, my mother was an enthusiastic chef who knew how to hold down the fort. Their unique combination of personalities created an environment that was both entertaining and insightful.</p><p>To infuse even more enthusiasm into our household, my father made the decision to bring his mother, Kalthoum, to live with us following the passing of my grandfather. This remarkable woman was like a modern-day grandmother with a touch of aristocracy. She had a unique ability to be hilarious, even in serious situations, but it wasn't in an overt way. Her influence was passionate, purposeful, and always right on point. She loved the beach, traveling, fashion, and social events, but not more than the wellbeing of her family. My father was her second born, with a 7 year age gap between him and my aunt, the firstborn. Making him the first son named after his grandfather.&nbsp;</p><p>You could say that my dad grew up with the responsibility of being a family leader, it was ingrained in him from a young age. His dad worked in a different country and was always away, therefore, the cultural upbringing emphasized the importance of maintaining it. He was strict and unapologetically himself. He had seen enough of life to be unafraid to go against societal norms, while willing to adapt and incorporate whatever was necessary to uphold his principles of proper conduct.&nbsp;</p><p><br>My father possessed a remarkable intellect, often surpassing his own good. Like all of us, he had his moments of brilliance and inspiration. What set him apart was his unwavering commitment to learn anything. He enjoyed learning about history and read mystery novels for hours throughout the day. Despite his intelligence, he never displayed arrogance or a competitive spirit. His pursuits in life were driven by a genuine desire for personal happiness and the well-being of our family. His intentions were always humble and rooted in goodwill.<br></p><p>My upbringing was distinct from that of my siblings. I didn't grow up in the same neighborhood or under the same influences, they were Gen-X'ers and I was the incoming millennial. As the youngest, I was known for my spirited and emotional nature. I was always quick to defend what I believed was right and would become emotional when feeling misunderstood. However, I would quickly regain my composure. It wasn't until my thirties that I started to realize I have always been highly sensitive with a side of EQ.&nbsp; Understanding and appreciating this combination has been a journey for me. Aside of the challenges, these qualities have not only benefited me but have also had a positive impact on other people in my life.</p><p>My father owned a convenience store called Indian Hills, which was his final venture before retiring. He had a deep affection for the establishment and ran it successfully. I recall going with my mom to assist during the day, I enjoyed pricing the items or sorting coins for the bank. Interacting with customers was always interesting. My dad would treat us to lunch daily (he was such a foodie) and he made it fun by allowing me to choose any drink or candy I wanted. However, my brother,&nbsp; who was working the store one night, faced a robbery at gunpoint. Thankfully, both he and the security guard emerged unharmed. This incident prompted my father to realize it was time to retire, leading him to sell the store.&nbsp;</p><p>As my teenage years approached, with my father retired now, coincided with my sister's marriage and relocation upstate. This shift in our family dynamic brought my grandma, mom, dad, and me even closer together. We all played unique roles in supporting one another. Spending time with these retirees helped me embrace and understand the culture our family created as Muslim Arab-Americans.</p><p>At one point, all of my aunts and uncles in the area were retired, leading a leisurely lifestyle. Food played a significant role in our daily routine, with my dad wanting a Sunday breakfast every day and dinner always being a focal point. Arab cuisine requires time, skill, and above all, a genuine passion. Our love for food is deeply ingrained in our lifestyle, especially when hosting guests. I found myself both observing the cultural importance placed on quality food while actively assisting my mom, learning along the way. However, culture cuisine was not the only central aspect of our lifestyle; hospitality and manners were and remain equally important. With my parents who were free from the daily grind of work, they had more time to teach and model sustainable manners.&nbsp;</p><p>Growing up as the youngest, I acquired an abundance of enthusiasm, I embraced that role wholeheartedly without an agenda but with genuine curiousity. So I was the "goody goody" always hanging out with my parents. I learned a lot helping my parents manage the house and caring for my elderly granny.&nbsp; We did a lot of daily activities together and my dad always wanted to hang out, watch a movie, play tawleh (backgammon), or make an authentic dish that would turn into a whole shindig.&nbsp; The front porch was our preferred hang out spot. We spent our summers in Jordan, where my parents owned an apartment. We would stay for atleast two months there to spend time with our family. This opportunity allowed me to absorb a wealth of culture and understanding. It was an advantage to witness the diverse values and perspectives of people and life during this time.&nbsp;</p><p>After getting married, I struggled with feelings of inadequacy for being away from my family. My grandmother's declining health weighed heavily on my mind as I felt like I had left my mom to handle the responsibilities I usually took care of for her. The absence of my family was deeply felt, prompting me to make frequent trips to visit them during the week. In retrospect, I am thankful for having my parents as a support system. I realize now that my visits to see them&nbsp; were more beneficial to me than the assistance I provided for them. I realize now I was going through an adult version of separation anxiety, but for a different type of preschool, ha!</p><p>Motherhood and a new house arrived together. I was still in my twenties, which is like the toddler stage of adulthood. Being a mom entails&nbsp; various stages of confidence, doubt, and concern, mirroring the different developmental stages our children go through, each with its own set of challenges and milestones. As I entered my thirties, everything seemed to fall in place-- my children were busy with school and extracurricular activities, we had a routine and always prioritized quality time together. When my father in-law passed away, my mother in-law came to live with us, leading to a lot of changes and adjustments happening constantly. Growing up in the same circumstances with my mom and grandma helped me navigate this living arrangement with a positive outlook.&nbsp;</p><p>In 2020, it became evident that my dad's health was challenged. By June, his health was deteriorating and my mother needed more help in caring for him. Coincidentally, my sister and her daughters decided to temporarily move in while I was already visiting multiple times a week to help out. Turning us into one big Tanner--or rather, Taher-family. My parents house became like Grand Central Station, with constant activity. I would only go home for a short while and then head back. It felt like we had set up camp there. They loved that. Of course, it wasn't always kicks and giggles. We affectionately dubbed our mom "The General" because she was as strict as a drill sergeant, ensuring tasks were completed and we weren't just lounging on the porch. "She's got her suit on!" that was my dad's way of warning us that she was channeling her inner general.&nbsp;</p><p>The passing of my father deeply impacted me, leaving an indelible mark on my heart. While we were aware that his time was near and he had expressed his readiness to depart, It comes as no surprise that he made his last days with us entertaining. He was bed bound and we were readily on demand to help and just be there with him. He was hilarious and delightfully dark. Which made our goodbyes easier. My father was known for his rebellious spirit, but not in a negative way. He possessed true wit and wisdom, and being around him was always filled with excitement. He was hilariously straightforward, but always with reason and gratitude.&nbsp;</p><p> In the aftermath of his passing, I had a conversation with his primary doctor, who shared that during their last meeting, his foremost worry was not wanting to impose his health needs on his family. So I immediately felt an overwhelming need to express my gratitude for him and to honor his legacy. It was a privilege to be his daughter and he made our lives easy in so many ways. I would help him again if I had to-- in a heartbeat. His presence had an incredible influence on my life. As a Muslim, I was aware of the benefits of reciting special dua and other charitable deeds on behalf of a deceased person. So I made it a priority to dedicate time each day to make dua and read The Quran in his honor.&nbsp;</p><p>The grief I felt in his absence truly inspired me to explore and contemplate the concepts of life and death. I started reflecting on the nature of the soul and its relationship to life and Allah (swt). The soul is a sacred entity, however, observing his passing in the hospital and the subsequent burial a few days later made me differentiate how the mind and body do serve as the vessel for our souls. &nbsp;These deep emotions stemmed from losing the guiding light of my life was the very reason that sparked a desire to delve deeper in our deen and gain knowledge.<br><br>Through this reflection, I also discovered that my grief was also a way of masking other voids in my life—matters that I had tucked away and that needed real attention. I began to unravel as unanswered questions kept resurfacing. In that time, I made the decision that if I wanted to deserve anything, I needed to first correct myself. One fundamental rule in Salah and connecting with Allah SWT is to rectify one's prayers. Even though prayer has been an integral part of my adult life, I found myself seeking to get out of the "auto-pilot" mode of praying and approach it with more sincerity.&nbsp;<br></p><p>I wasn't consciously embarking on a spiritual journey; rather it was a gradual shift towards improving my prayers, dua and connecting to Allah (swt). This journey also led me to discover genuine peace and solace, helping me find relief from any lingering grief. Throughout most of my adult life, I followed the principle of "giving it to God," which is tawakkul, where I would fulfill my responsibilities and entrust the rest to Him. This practice was not simple; it demanded a profound introspection and self-discipline. However, once I mastered it, I came to value this significant grown-up milestone.&nbsp;</p><p>Towards the end of 2021, I was embracing a more dedicated prayer routine. I was becoming proficient in performing all the additional Sunnah prayers, seeking guidance through Istikhara for important matters.&nbsp; As I became more determined to improve and excel in my learning, more responsibilites seemed to come my way. At that point, I had a bedtime routine to recite specific verses from the Quran and do tasbih, aiming for a restful and safeguarded night's sleep. Interestingly, I began waking up spontaneously st 2:30am with nothing to do. It dawned on me that this was a chance to engage in Tahajjud prayer, which I was influenced by my mother-in-law's strong encouragement to pray during those early hours. This prayer is truly unique; I think of it as the "Ramadan" part of the day.&nbsp;</p><p>In the summer of 2022, I found myself drawn to wearing looser fit clothing, eventually leading me to consider wearing an abaya. This shift in style posed an interesting and challenging situation for me. As those close to me are aware of my specific fashion preferences of effortless comfort. Adapting to the abaya was particularly tough given my active role in my family's life and my modern mindset. Initially, I viewed the abaya as a restriction on my freedom. Introducing new habits is always tough, and we often try to find excuses to avoid inconvenience. However, it became increasingly evident that embracing this change was an important step for me.</p><p>Moreover, during that summer, I successfully kicked the habit of smoking, which was a significant achievement for me. Those familiar with me would say that quitting was never on my agenda. However, my health concerns became a pressing issue, as I found that my smoking habit clashed with my other healthy practices. I vividly remember the Tuesday when frustration led me to throw my pack of cigarettes. But it doesn't end there-- about a week later, just as I was on the verge of giving in and returning to smoking, I had a dream in which my father appeared, congratulating me on quitting. This unexpected and heartwarming dream served as the motivation I needed to persevere, kicking a 20 year habit, with my father's influence playing a pivotal role in my success (he was a smoker too).&nbsp;</p><p>Ramadan 2023 had arrived, and I was still inconsistent with wearing the abaya. However, early in the first week of fasting, I had a dream/inspiration to wear the niqab. I remember waking up at 3 am and taking immediate action by ordering some niqabs on Amazon. Upon receiving them, I still struggled to fully commit to the change. But then, I had another dream that reaffirmed the importance of this decision for me. Significant events in my personal life has transpired, providing me with a sense of security that allowed me to confidently wear the niqab. </p><p>Despite this newfound assurance, the decision was challenging due to the potential influence of cultural norms and talk, which could misconstrue my intentions. Nevertheless, this choice was shaped by an undeniable experience I had. It was an inspiration that echoed the guidance and confirmations I had previously received through my prayers. So I couldn't disregard this connection simply because the task seemed challenging.&nbsp; I developed and nurtured sufficient trust to understand that Allah (swt) does not leave you to navigate blindly and since then, I have slowly understood His attributes and His names.</p><p>In my experience &nbsp;Allah (swt) has been guiding me for longer than I had realized or expected. It was no coincidence that the most caring man in my life passes away, &nbsp;leading my heart to seek a deeper connection with Allah(swt)&nbsp; Looking back, it's as if my father's presence had been a shield for me, so when he passed, Allah's inspiration led me on a path to trust Him wholeheartedly, learning how to safeguard myself and also my children.&nbsp;As I continue on this path, I'm grateful for the reasons and the lessons learned-- the good, bad and the reality.&nbsp;<br></p><figure id="figure-i3zk0p22mklsy8811o" class=""><img id="i3zk0p22mklsy8811o" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/3icger8D92v60wXGKdvhCLlC0JB7D8NECZfHwNRGNuwwmlShZKEdRHM6hsXTzgE4.jpg" alt="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/3icger8D92v60wXGKdvhCLlC0JB7D8NECZfHwNRGNuwwmlShZKEdRHM6hsXTzgE4.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));">By being mindful and wholeheartedly trusting in the Quran, I have come to realize that faith is not merely a temporary solution or a band-aid for our wounds. Instead, it is the holy grail that effectively processes our matters, helping us to define and reason with the occurences and inflictions that have or can happen. It is guidance and reassurance, enabling us to filter out unnecessary debris in our lives</span></p><p><strong>This link explores the cultural context surrounding loss: </strong>https://www.themarginalian.org/2023/11/21/necessary-losses/</p><p><strong><br>Here is a video that delves deeper into the concept of the soul. Sheikh Belal explains and clarifies Islam's perspective on this subject.</strong></p><figure id="figure-wz2vjwu59alsy8489m" class=""><iframe id="wz2vjwu59alsy8489m" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/J2WKwOvGAX4" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2WKwOvGAX4" data-corners="small" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/J2WKwOvGAX4" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><p><br></p><p><br>&nbsp;</p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br><br></p>

A Heart's Legacy: My Father's Greatest Gift

sunflower field under blue sky during sunset

<p><strong>By, Nora Taher Barhoum &amp; my AI assistant</strong></p><p><strong style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal);" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal);">Continuing on the path of exploring Allah's names, the objective remains to deepen our bond with the Almighty and also cultivate a sense of lighthearted contentment.&nbsp;</strong></p><p>I want to express the significance of using the resources we have to understand Allah (SWT). It is a journey of deep respect and reverence, seeking to comprehend His attributes and their impact on our lives. Just as we strive to know and understand one another's characteristics in our human relationships, we can apply the same principle to our relationship with Allah (SWT). This sincere reflection deepens our understanding of Allah's monotheism and strengthens our integrity in order to maintain good character.</p><h3>Understanding the Power of Reflection:</h3><p>Reflecting on Allah's names during prayer is not a mere recitation of words, but a deliberate act of contemplation that allows individuals to delve deeper into the essence of their situations. One of the fundamental aspects of devotion to Allah is the virtue of patience, sabr. This patience is not merely about waiting in line or enduring the passage of time, rather it encompasses a deep reverence for the natural process of acquiring understanding. As human beings, our innate intuition relies on both rationality and logic, that which leads us to seek explanations that align with our perception of reality.</p><h3><br>The Quran's Emphasis on Reflection:</h3><p>The Quran, as the ultimate source of guidance for Muslims, emphasizes the importance of reflection to prevent the verses from being perceived as mere tales or fiction. Allah encourages believers to approach the Quran with unwavering belief, recognizing it as His divine scripture. By incorporating the 99 names of Allah as a foundation of trust and reliance, we develop a profound connection with the Quran, deepening our understanding and strengthening our faith.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><h3>The Journey towards Spiritual Enlightenment:</h3><p>Reflecting on Allah's names during prayer is a practice that not only enhances our understanding of the world around us but also nurtures a deep sense of gratitude and humility. InshaAllah this reflection can serve as a guiding light in our pursuit of a meaningful and fulfilling spiritual journey.</p><p><br></p><figure id="figure-np1epfx8cqlrflo7ec"><iframe id="np1epfx8cqlrflo7ec" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PBlJ55pbaCg" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBlJ55pbaCg&amp;t=1122s" data-corners="default" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PBlJ55pbaCg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><p>Sheikh Bilal Assad's reflection draws parallels between the parables of Allah's names and the attachment theory formulated by psychologist John Bowlby. In Bowlby's Attachment Theory, he suggests that the emotional and social development of infants is significantly influenced by their relationship with their primary caregivers.&nbsp;</p><p>This highlights the importance of nurturing healthy relationships, as Allah's attributes serve as the highest source of His guidance. Bowlby's theory emphasizes the significance of cultivating loving attachments, which parallels the bond we can establish with Allah through our prayers inshaAllah.&nbsp;</p><p><em><strong>Allah Al Musta'aan: Allah (SWT) is the one whose help is to be sought.&nbsp;</strong></em></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><figure id="figure-xly7t4awrilrfm75kg"><br></figure>

Additional Perspectives

sunset sky with clouds and golden light, sunset sky gradient background

<h3>With the Quran as the guiding principles for Muslims, it is reasonable to perceive angels as the embodiment of pure devotion to Allah (swt) within the divine realm.</h3><p>As a Muslim, believing in angels is not only a matter of faith, but also a recognition of the vitality of one's soul. The concept of angels and the belief in the soul both revolve around the existence of unseen entities that have a tangible impact on our lives. A Muslims faith would be deemed incomplete without a belief in the existence of angels as it is one of the fundamental articles of faith.</p><p> Angels belong to a level of existence beyond the perceptible world, called Alam Al Ghayb, unseen realm. They serve a profound purpose, offering healing, aid, and guidance to all, especially to those who actively seek Allah (swt) through prayer, patience, and perseverance.&nbsp;</p><p>A divine precedent is that if you support Allah (swt), Allah (swt) will support you and send angels to aid you.&nbsp; "It is the same (to Him) whether any of you conceals his speech or declares it openly, whether he be hiding by night or goes forth freely by day. For him (each person), there are angels in succession, before and behind him. They guard him by the command of Allah" (Quran 13:10-11).</p><p>Angels lack free will and are solely devoted to fulfilling the orders of Allah. They are pure beings, free from any inclination towards materials possessions or earthly desires like lust. Angels bear the responsibility of intricately recording the impact of human actions on their souls, a complex system that remains beyond our complete understanding.&nbsp;</p><p>According to the Quran, angels are Kiraman Katibeen or honourable recorders. They record the good deeds—hasanat—and bad deeds—sayyiat. They are mentioned in the following verse:&nbsp; "But verily, over you (are appointed angels in charge of mankind) to watch you, Kiraman (Honourable) Katibeen writing down your deeds. They know all that you do." (Quran 82:10-12).&nbsp;</p><p>Angels hold a heightened sensitivity towards the impurities of worldly existence, which is why the principles of the Quran consistently emphasize the importance of continuous purification for Muslims. While hygiene and clothing may be superficial factors, the inner thoughts and contenment of one's heart hold the utmost significance in meeting the criteria set by angels to safeguard and assist individuals.&nbsp;</p><p><strong>How do morals and ethics factor in?</strong></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal);" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal);">Morality is the connection of human natures intrinsic values that govern their reasoning and behavior, with the angelic realm that stands to advocate for that and much more. We experience life in a world of good and evil, and understand certain actions in terms of right and wrong, thus the structure of human existence dictates we must make choices.&nbsp;</span><br></p><p>Ethics helps us use our freedom responsibly and understand who we are. It gives direction in our struggle to answer the fundamental questions that ask how we should live our lives and how we can make right choices.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>Morals and ethics play a crucial role in how angels process the intentions of human nature. When individuals demonstrate virtuous qualities and adhere to moral principles, angels can better understand and align with their intentions. When humans exhibit virtuous qualities such as honesty, compassion, and justice, angels are able to perceive and understand these intentions more clearly.&nbsp;</p><p>On the other hand, immoral or unethical behavior may make it difficult for angels to comprehend or support such intentions. While the presence of strong morals and ethics helps angels in processing and engaging with human nature.&nbsp;</p><p>In summary, angels can be seen as guardians of humanity, as we strive to embody the positive impacts of a strong moral compass and mirror their selfless dedication in our daily existence.<br></p><p><strong>Presented here are select Quranic verses that embody the concepts of purification and the aid of angels:</strong></p><p>"But verily over you (are appointed angels) to protect you, kind and honourable, writing down (your deeds), they know all that you do, as for the righteous, they will be in bliss."<br>(82:10-13)</p><p>"And whoever purifies himself only purifies himself for the benefit of his soul. And the destination of all is to Allah. And the blind and the seeing are not alike. Nor are the depths of darkness to light."&nbsp; <br>(35:18-20)</p><p>"There are guardians over everyone, both before him and behind him, who guard him by Allah's command. Verily Allah does not change a people's condition unless they change their inner selves."(13:11)&nbsp;</p><p>"Yes, if you remain patient and conscious of Allah and an enemy come upon you, your Lord will reinforce you with five thousand angels having marks of distinction."<br>(3:125)</p><p>"And by the soul and the One Who fashioned it, then with the knowledge of right and wrong inspired it. Successful indeed is the one who purifies their soul"<br>(91:7-9)</p><p><br></p><figure id="figure-mzvlyfbvnilqxcm3it"><img id="mzvlyfbvnilqxcm3it" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2zFuiZ1WAHAJ4HmK9PYLxfLzSjKgLTbRPH3tgdpNfCWriU8wssWywFJgfDARqaiT.jpg" alt="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="3:2" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2zFuiZ1WAHAJ4HmK9PYLxfLzSjKgLTbRPH3tgdpNfCWriU8wssWywFJgfDARqaiT.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p>

Angels: Defenders of Humanity

Autumn landscape, sunrise in a foggy morning in the region of Orava, Slovakia, Europe.

<div class="adn ads" data-message-id="#msg-a:r888042898084538991" data-legacy-message-id="18b5602ad7ecd9d1"><div class="gs"><div class=""><div id=":mw" class="ii gt"><div id=":mx" class="a3s aiL "><div>By, Nora Taher Barhoum&nbsp;</div><div><br data-mce-bogus="1"></div><div>In the journey of being a Muslim, there can come a time that we realize the need to deepen our connection with Allah (swt).&nbsp; I gradually came to this realization and need of this higher power as certain life outcomes left me feeling confused prompting me to embark on a journey to not only seek guidance but also improve and fortify my prayers with Allah (swt).&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>It was a process that spanned years, during which I faithfully performed the five daily prayers, yet in hindsight, I found myself struggling to fully comprehend it's true significance. Life’s distractions and a lack of sincerity had hindered my ability to experience the profound benefits of prayer. There were times when I would feel like I was on autopilot, and times I prayed the obligatory prayers just to tell myself I did.&nbsp; In all honesty, I wasn't feeling content, yet I still held strong to do the best I could.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>In the recent years, I had the privilege of living with an older and wiser individual who served as a guiding light on my path. Though at the time of this living arrangement, I had a resistance to the level of her dedication in prayer, which was out of pure ignorance on my part. Giving our dynamic, I had to alter a lot of my life to respectfully care and spend the quality time we needed as a family living under one roof. Although it posed numerous challenges, I considered myself fortunate to have been able to strike a balance between the different aspects of my life- the "who, what, and where" of myself, as well as the "good, bad, and ugly" of every situation. This allowed me to maintain a positive outlook and consistency in order to preserve my inner peace and be a source of stability for my children.</div><div><br></div><div>I maintained an exceptionally good relationship with her but I must admit that I overlooked and at times, unfairly judged her actions of engaging in extra prayer and supplications. I failed to recognize that these practices were not signs of vulnerability, but rather a display of her deep faith and connection with Allah (swt). I regret not taking the time to understand her perspective and appreciate the significance these actions held for her. &nbsp;I realize now that my ego had hindered my vision of her truth and enthusiasm. Irony at it's finest had served me, and not only do I deserve it but now I am so grateful for her and the lessons learned along the way.</div><div><br></div><div>Things change and life goes on but growth only happens when you open your heart to what you learn. You discover that witnessing is contrary to actually experiencing. Seeming is not the same as being.&nbsp; Belief is strong but does not grant power or seniority to any individual. As a Muslim, we acknowledge that our souls are constantly seeking peace. The Quran and prayer serve as sources of guidance and nourishment for our souls, allowing us to embody that peace in our mind and body. In this belief, we are reminded to nourish, preserve, and protect what lies within us, taking into account our unique life circumstances and perspectives.</div><div><br></div><div>So it turns out, that is all she was doing the whole time and I didn't begin to understand the degrees of faith one can experience or the depth of dedication as I was walking my butterfly trailed life, then I realized I was trapped within the confines of a metaphorical mountain that I needed to climb out of. So, with the most reasonable approach to my reality, to maintain livelihood, for the sake of maturity, positivity, patience, respect, love, knowledge, morals, values, fairness and ultimate service as a mother as well...I sought my ultimate source with wholehearted love because I believe in Allah, The Quran, the angels, the signs, the prophets and His revelations.</div><div><br></div><div>Life is both serious and delicate, and I found it necessary to separate myself from societal norms and embrace my own unique approach to navigate through significant life changes.&nbsp; So I approached prayer with authenticity and patience and that is how I truly started understanding His 99 names. His guidance acts as both protection and light. It becomes apparent that He conceals and reveals what is necessary.&nbsp;Allah, in his infinite wisdom, brings light to even the darkest of situations and alleviate the burdens of despair according to our individual and authentic needs. He understands us at our core. His divine intervention is tailored to our unique circumstances, ensuring that we receive the assistance we truly require to embrace our own authenticity.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div class="yj6qo"><br></div><div class="adL"><br></div></div></div></div></div></div>

Blog | Soul Air Reality

The Hidden Thorns of Narcissism

Embracing Tawakkul: The Transformative Power of Trusting ...

A Heart's Legacy: My Father's Greatest Gift

Additional Perspectives

Angels: Defenders of Humanity

New Post